FIC: Standard Issue

Tue, 24 Sep 2019 16:11:34 GMT

This work originally appeared on my Patreon page. Please consider supporting me on Patreon to this and other, original stories at least 30 days in advance of the public.

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Dramatis Persona:

Mack Blaster: The hero of Just Blast-Cause VII.

Mission Control: A voice with an Internet connection

Scene: Mack arrives on the beaches of Genericstan, armed only with a pistol.

Mission Control: Okay, we lost all of your equipment in the crash, so let's go through a com check to make sure what you got left is still working.

Mack: Oh, come on. Do we have to do this every single time?

Mission Control: Do what?

Mack: Do the stupid beginner tutorial like we do at the start of every game!

Mission Control: I don't know what you're talking about. Now move forward and….

Mack: Argh! I mean this! Left stick to move, Right stick to control the camera, X to jump or interact, R1 to lock onto a target, R2 to fire, L1 brings up the radial menu, L2 does something later in the game. the d-pad is my quick items, O is for my special abilities, and the touchpad brings up my map because no one ever figured out what else it's good for. It's basically the same set up for every first or third person perspective console game since the 2000's, unless you're playing on a Piin-tendo and they make you use, I don't know, an animatronic elephant nose strapped to your face or whatever! Why do we have constantly break immersion to do this when every kid born knows this shit by the time they're ten?!

Mission Control: "Piin-tendo?"

Mack: Legal couldn't secure the rights for the actual name.

Mission Control: Whatever, just play along.

Mack: Nope, not gonna. Just put a waypoint marker up so I can get a weapon better than this POS pistol.

Mission Control: Fine. Don't blame me if you fall off the edge of a cliff because you didn't know…

Mack: Square to grab the edge of a cliff.

Mission Control: What if you'd forgotten...

Mack: Is this one of those stupid games where you've got a fatigue meter when you're climbing?

Mission Control: ....no.

Mack: Then shut up and let's get on with this.

Mission Control: I hate you.

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Script: The Next Starfighter

Tue, 27 Mar 2018 00:48:24 GMT

A little 80's nostalgia, for Ryk Spoor

BLACK SCREEN

S/FX: The old tinny Starfighter video game opening music.

Centauri: (v/o) Greetings, Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League, to defend the Frontier against Xur, and the Kodan Armada. Get ready. Prepare for blastoff!

( Some things should remain in the past )

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Royce's Random Thoughts

FIC: Standard Issue

Script: The Next Starfighter