jeriendhal | Shadow of Her Sins, Chapter Two cont.

Lady Salli found her a half hour later. Stunned, Ali had fled to her room, curling up fully dressed on her bed, her plasma holster digging into her hip.

“Ali, may I come in?” Lady Salli called from the hallway. She wouldn't come in uninvited, having some strong ideas about personal space. On the other hand, Ali was certain she wouldn't leave either.

“Yes,” Ali said, just loud enough to be heard. Lady Salli came in, shutting the door behind her. She was holding a tray of tea and biscuits, and Ali felt a brief stab of guilt as her mistress played servant.

“Commander Blacksailor is very upset,” Lady Salli began, setting the tea tray on the nightstand and then sitting herself down on the edge of the bed. “I told him you must have been overwrought by the news, which I think was true enough. I passed him over to the staff to get him settled into the guest quarters while I talked to you.” When Ali failed to respond, she poured two cups of tea and held one out. “Drink.”

“I'm not thirsty,” Ali said mulishly.

“You haven't had breakfast yet.”

“I'm not hungry either.”

“Alinadar, sit up,” Lady Salli said sharply. The command seemed to strike Ali's spine for she sat immediately at attention. Lady Salli then went on in a more even tone, “You've had a very upsetting and emotional experience, and have undoubtably low blood sugar, which is not a good combination. I speak from experience in this.”

“Yes, Milady,” Ali said. She took the tea finally and sipped. Her stomach growled eagerly as she became aware of her hunger.

“I should have realized before now that Waterfarmer had to be an alias you took when the Red Vixen assigned you to shadow me,” Lady Salli began. “Is Darksailor your real name?”

“I don't know, it could be.” She shrugged helplessly. “I was six. I can't even remember my mother and father's faces, much less their names.”

“Do you remember having a brother?”

“Yes, with white fur, I think. Whether he's the same guy how landed here today I don't know.”

Lady Salli moved a little closer to her, and Ali lay her head on Salli's shoulder, as the older vixen began stroking her head slowly. “So we have some ambiguity from you, despite the commander's certainty. His suggestion of a DNA analysis makes sense, I think.”

Ali closed her eyes, breathing slowly to take in Lady Salli's calming scent. “”No,” she repeated.

“Why not?”

She opened her eyes reluctantly. “Milady, think it through. He's a Patroller, I was a pirate. He's got a life.”

“You value your own so lightly?”

“I've got blood on my paws. I'm soaked in blood, enough to take a bath in.”

“You were a slave, Alinadar. You had no choice. That's a viable argument in any sane court.”

“The fact that I may not have had a choice doesn't change the fact I did it.” She shuddered in memory, and Lady Salli wrapped an arm around her.

“We can not change what we were, but we can chose who to be. You were a pirate, but a victim as well, as much I was a Noblevixen, with all the power that implies, but also the target of all my late husband's violent rages. I can't unbecome my past self, but who I am now is who I choose to be. Who you choose to be is something I think you're still trying to figure out.”

“So what should I do?” Ali pleaded.

“What you want to do. I would suggest you speak to Commander Blacksailor. He's come a terribly long way, and is likely as emotionally unbalanced as you are right now.”

She rested her head on Lady Salli's shoulder again, not wanting to move. “What should I say to him?”

“'Hello' is always a good start.”

TBC