Father's Day

So I was very bad for Father's Day and managed to talk Tracy into letting me order the Deluxe GURPS 4th Edition, with fake leather binding, a slipcase, and front page autographed by Steve Jackson and others. Tracy went down with her mom to view her dad's grave, while Tom and I went over to see Grandpa Day.

My dad was looking *much* better than the day before. He's recovering from a bout with bronchitis, and the medicine the damned doctor had given had left him looking horrible when I came by to be with him Saturday while mom visited with her friends. I'd had to help him get out of his chair and shadow him as he made his way twenty feet to the kitchen table so he didn't fall.

Every time I see him he just looks weaker and weaker. Mom can't really take care of him, he's just too big and tall compared to her, even if she is ten years younger than he is. So they're going to see about getting a day-nurse to come by every other day and be with him, and help him dress and bathe.

( TMI Warning )

You know you might be from Maryland if...

50) You drink "soda" not "pop."
49) You commonly say the phrase, "It's not the heat, it's the humidity that kills you."
48) You know what an "Ozone Warning" is.
47) You know what people are talking about when they say the pineapple on 95. Huh? I know what they're talking about when they say there's a "car-b-que"
46) Your front lawn looks more like a wheat field than a yard, especially during mid-August.
45) You have been too drunk to fish.
44) There is a local mall in your neighborhood that you used to hang-out at when you were younger (or still do, if you are REALLY from Maryland.) Helloooo, Columbia Mall. And Laurel, back when before it went to seed.
43) It isn't a "bayou" or a "swamp," it is a "watershed,"…or.... Actually, it's classified as wetlands.
42) ...it was once called a "pond," and....
41) .... You consistently deny the fact that your drinking water comes from it. I don't deny that we have well water. It's a hell of a lot better than city water (wooter).
40) You've looked at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore and wondered if fish really do live in there. If there are fish living in that mess, I don't want to see them outside of a Sci-Fi Channel movie...
39) You know what a "Toadfish" is.
38) You’ve bitched about the "Increasing toll prices" on the Bay Bridge.
37) Despite it being only 200 miles away (on average), you have no problem driving in excess of four hours to Ocean City on the weekend.
36) You’ve played the “Bay Game” at least once in your life.
35) You don’t need to take the offered class on how to eat crab, it’s instinct.
34) You know what "Old Bay" is.
33) It’s common sense what streets are Oceanside and Bayside are in Ocean City. Duh.
32) You know what the Ocean City logo is and don’t need to scratch your head trying to figure it out.
31) You've asked, "Is there a Drive-In liquor store around here?" more than once. No, but I've seen them. Gotta love the Eastern Shore.
30) Your neighborhood demonstrates the co-existence of African-Americans and racist rednecks. Shit, I grew up in Montgomery County, and live in Columbia. No rednecks allowed...
29) You know it takes more then 45 minutes to drive to Washington, D.C. and you also know to take the Metro anyway. Who in God's name would drive into DC given a choice?
28) You know your way around the Metro and can pronounce the name of every stop correctly.
27) You've driven from Cumberland to Baltimore without paying a single toll!
26) $3.00 is considered a "reasonable" price for a Miller Lite at any local bar. ($2.00 if you are not from a Metropolitan area)
25) Yourself, and some friends, have participated in the adolescent ritual known as "Beach Week."
24) You would really like to "Get Crabs" right now. I'm losing serious points because of my hatred of seafood.
23) South Baltimore seems like a "happening" place to live, in your opinion. ,i>You couldn't pay me to go there.
22) You know what Foggy Bottom and Mt. Vernon are.
21) You know of the legend of the "Goatman" and claim to have seen him while driving intoxicated down Route 197 late at night.
20) You’ve seen a “HERE.” Sign and know what it means.
19) You talk with a "southern" accent, yet you deny yourself as having one. Okay, technically we're south of the Mason-Dixon line.
18) At any bar, no matter where in Maryland, you will always hear a good "West Virginia" joke on any given night.
17) Atlantic City seems a lot closer than Ocean City, due to your subconscious motivation.
16) You know the difference between a female crabs and male crabs, know the size limit on catching crabs, and know the differences between soft and hard crab.
15) You are a NASCAR fan.
14) You think that the Orioles can, "Pull it out," even though they are 25 games below .500.
13) You have realized that both 495 and 695 would be better used by the Indy racing circuit, than by half a million lunatic drivers.
12) If you are from the DC area, you hate the thought of Baltimore. If you are from the Baltimore area, vice-versa.
11) You celebrated when Baltimore City was demoted from number one in heroin usage to number four and in that same year went to number one from two in homicides.
10) It is as equally as common of a sight for a neighbor's washer and dryer to be out in their yard, as it is in their laundry room.
9) A snowstorm is treated in the same manner, as a nuclear holocaust would be. We get really uptight when it snows.
8) If you're from the DC area, you commonly say "Washington Monument? Oh yeah, you mean that tall white thing you can see from the 12th Street bridge. That's what they call that?"
7) You think that the Olive Garden has, "Good Italian food."
6) You drive a BMW and you actually believe that the rest of us don't think that it is your parents' car.
5) You know that the John in Johns Hopkins is spelled with an “s” and that it’s a real name.
4) You have one of those little "spiked-haired guys pissing on the number 24" stickers on the back of your car (and if you are really from Maryland...you have two of them on your truck.)
3) You know two of the richest counties in America neighbor one of the poorest counties.
2) As sad as the rest of the country thought it was, and the world for that matter, you found it "funnier than hell" when Marion Barry got caught smoking crack.
1) Before it even came out, you knew that the Blair Witch Project was a crock of bullshit. But...you did investigate, didn't you?