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May. 27th, 2013
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lilfluff: “The polite and extremely apologetic alien invasion.”
* * *
Bob looked at the man, appeared to be a man anyway, except for the blue skin and the Star Trek forehead bumps, who had stepped out of the spaceship. “Um, can I help you?”
“Yes, greetings from the stars. I’m Brother Neuvo of the Church of Higher Conciousness,” the alien said, bowing. He adjusted the lapels of his conservative suit. “A great pleasure to meet you.” He held up his palm in what looked like a gesture of greeting, the other handing over a sheet of blue paper printed in alien script. “May I have your name and offer you an explanatory pamphlet, sir?
“Sure. It’s Bob, er, Robert Thomspon.”
“A great pleasure to meet you, Bob.”
“Same. Um, shouldn’t you be talking to the President or something?”
“We prefer to start from the ground up when we take over a world,” Neuvo said.
“Sorry, you’re what?”
“Taking over your world. Basically we’re going to overwhelm you with superior technology, destroy your culture and make you adapt to our needs.” He shrugged apologetically. “It’s what we do I’m afraid.”
“Any particular reason why?”
“God told us to. Sorry.”
Bob sighed. “That’s okay. We do a lot of that here too.”
lilfluff: “The polite and extremely apologetic alien invasion.”* * *
Bob looked at the man, appeared to be a man anyway, except for the blue skin and the Star Trek forehead bumps, who had stepped out of the spaceship. “Um, can I help you?”
“Yes, greetings from the stars. I’m Brother Neuvo of the Church of Higher Conciousness,” the alien said, bowing. He adjusted the lapels of his conservative suit. “A great pleasure to meet you.” He held up his palm in what looked like a gesture of greeting, the other handing over a sheet of blue paper printed in alien script. “May I have your name and offer you an explanatory pamphlet, sir?
“Sure. It’s Bob, er, Robert Thomspon.”
“A great pleasure to meet you, Bob.”
“Same. Um, shouldn’t you be talking to the President or something?”
“We prefer to start from the ground up when we take over a world,” Neuvo said.
“Sorry, you’re what?”
“Taking over your world. Basically we’re going to overwhelm you with superior technology, destroy your culture and make you adapt to our needs.” He shrugged apologetically. “It’s what we do I’m afraid.”
“Any particular reason why?”
“God told us to. Sorry.”
Bob sighed. “That’s okay. We do a lot of that here too.”
- Mon, 06:27: Drabbles, I'm sooooo behind http://t.co/xHqP4701Lu
- Mon, 06:44: 365 Days of Drabbles, Day One Hundred Forty-Six and Forty-Seven http://t.co/4oqmdxO60Q
For lilfluff: “Polywater real or as a new fraud/mistake”
* * *
Bob tried to think this through. Brother Neuvo seemed nice enough, for an alien menace. Perhaps negotiation was possible. “Look,” he said. “I know you’re just doing your job, but I don’t really like the idea of getting run over by a supposedly superior culture. Couldn’t we just, I don’t know, pay tribute to you all?”
“Well, that may be a possibility,” Neuvo said thoughtfully. “There is precedent in the Book of Precedents.”
“Okay, that’s a start. What would you like? Hopefully not our women.”
“Oh, goodness no. Our, um…” Neuvo’s face flushed purple. “Well, there would be compatibility issues there. But we could use a new source of polywater!”
“Polywater?” Bob thought for a second. “Hey, I heard of that in my chem classes. It was never for real.”
“Of course it’s ‘for real,’” Brother Neuvo exclaimed. “It’s the whole basis for our technology!”
“You’re kidding.”
“Certainly not! If it weren’t for polywater we wouldn’t have the proper solution to use in our cold fusion process to power our Dean drives!”
Oh, no. “Hey, this God of yours. He wouldn’t happen to be a Thetan, would he?”
Neuvo brightened immediately. “You’ve heard of Him!”
“It was a lucky guess…”
lilfluff: “Polywater real or as a new fraud/mistake”* * *
Bob tried to think this through. Brother Neuvo seemed nice enough, for an alien menace. Perhaps negotiation was possible. “Look,” he said. “I know you’re just doing your job, but I don’t really like the idea of getting run over by a supposedly superior culture. Couldn’t we just, I don’t know, pay tribute to you all?”
“Well, that may be a possibility,” Neuvo said thoughtfully. “There is precedent in the Book of Precedents.”
“Okay, that’s a start. What would you like? Hopefully not our women.”
“Oh, goodness no. Our, um…” Neuvo’s face flushed purple. “Well, there would be compatibility issues there. But we could use a new source of polywater!”
“Polywater?” Bob thought for a second. “Hey, I heard of that in my chem classes. It was never for real.”
“Of course it’s ‘for real,’” Brother Neuvo exclaimed. “It’s the whole basis for our technology!”
“You’re kidding.”
“Certainly not! If it weren’t for polywater we wouldn’t have the proper solution to use in our cold fusion process to power our Dean drives!”
Oh, no. “Hey, this God of yours. He wouldn’t happen to be a Thetan, would he?”
Neuvo brightened immediately. “You’ve heard of Him!”
“It was a lucky guess…”
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