Fic: A Softer World
Jun. 13th, 2006 04:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jeriendhalNote: In Nomine, PG, Christopher and Lawrence, angst
Note: In Nomine is copyright Steve Jackson Games and Siroz, and used here without permission.
The Sword found Children outside in front of his House, diligently sorting a collection of agate and cats eye marbles by size and color into brightly dyed bags, attended by a circle of Relievers and Blessed Souls. Lord Christopher looked up at Lawrence, and stood to bow before him, leaving his attendants to their task.
“Lord Commander, welcome to my House. How may I serve you?” Christopher greeted. Today he wore his favored form, that of a young man, or a child on the edge of adulthood, wearing a simple white tunic and sandals.
Lawrence looked down at the marbles. “I am not interrupting anything of importance, am I?”
“A pastime, nothing more,” Christopher said, and smiled.
“Walk with me then.” He headed towards the lake, where a dock lay, rowboats tied to its moorings, and some of Christopher’s charges busied themselves diving off the pier into the water. “I’ve observed you often devote time to such things, though there is little point to them.”
Children shrugged. “As you devote time to the practice of the sword, though no one in Heaven or elsewhere could ever hope to match your skill. We are our Words, Lord Commander, and we must heed to their natures. So I play marbles with my friends, and cherish their smiles.”
“And I take…” the word Pride died on his lips. “And I assure myself my skills have not diminished. Your point is taken, Lord Christopher.”
“Thank you.” They walked further, coming to a stop at the lake’s edge. “What brings you here today, Commander? It is not often that the Sword seeks out Children, save when calling a vote in the Council chamber.”
Lawrence mantled his black wings. “That is Truth, and I apologize for it. I have… been reminded recently… that maintaining a proper distance from one’s subordinates is a good thing, but to remain ignorant of them is an equally bad trait. I have been attempting to correct this behavior.”
“My thanks then. So this is merely a social call?”
“Not entirely. I was speaking to Novalis, and she pointed out a fact that I had not previously been aware of. That you were once a servitor of David is of course well known. But I did not know that your service to him actually pre-dated the Fall.”
“It is not something that I have reason to make mention of very often, and it… pains me, to dwell overmuch on it.” Christopher’s face wore a rare frown. “I do wish you could have known him then, as the Cherub he was, not the Malakite he is now. He was Stone of course, but he was… warmer… like a rock that had lain out in the sun, retaining heat to comfort those who slept beside it in the night. He was hard, but not so… unyielding.”
“The Fall changed everything, and everyone.”
“Yes,” Christopher waved his hand, “That was another life. I don’t see what relevance it holds now.”
“I found it curious,” Lawrence said. “Despite your status, you are often mistaken for a younger angel. Yet in fact you are one of the oldest. Certainly you are older than I. I would think you would take pains to correct this misapprehension, to gain more respect.”
Christopher looked annoyed now. “I am an Archangel, Commander. I serve Heaven, by serving my Word. I need nothing more, I desire nothing more.”
“Your humility is refreshing. Perhaps you might gift some of it to Michael.”
“Michael’s way of serving his Word is his own business, and it wise for Children to stay well clear of War,” Christopher said, still looking irritated. “I do hope you have a point you are attempting to reach, Commander. I miss my servitors’ company.”
“I do.” Lawrence drew his finger along the chains that crossed his chest. “I have a question for you. It is one I intend to ask all of the angels in Heaven, the ones that were here prior to the Fall. I will ask it of all of them, but you are the first.”
“How did I earn this honor?”
“Seraphim tell the Truth, always, and Elohim will tell it to you dispassionately. But, I think the keeper for the Word of Children is most likely to tell it to me without any guile whatsoever.”
“Fair enough. Ask your question, Lord Commander.”
Lawrence drew in a breath. “What did he offer you?”
Christopher did not look in his direction. “Who?”
“You know who I mean.”
“My deposition on the matter is on record in the Halls of Judgment, Lord Lawrence,” Christopher said, still looking out over the lake.
“Yes, your words are there,” Lawrence agreed. “But your emotions can not be conveyed through a cold report, not Truthfully, not even in Heaven. I want to hear it from your mouth, for my ears. I do not understand the Lightbringer, and the great respect he had in all of Heaven. I must understand it though, if I am to lead our armies against him, when that great, glorious day finally comes.”
Christopher finally met his eyes. “Very well.” He clasped his hands behind his back. “It’s simple enough. He offered to make me the Archangel of Children. He didn’t say that directly you understand, but his meaning was obvious. I didn’t even have the simple Word at that point, though my inclination was clear to myself and the rest of Heaven. Certainly to him.”
He went on. “Everything was clear to him, and he could make everything clear to everyone else. That was his gift, the nature of his Word. That’s why we trusted his council so deeply. That’s why it was such an utter shock to find he had not been speaking Truth to us, but Lies, poison in our ears to bring down Heaven.”
“Was it a true temptation to you?”
“Of course it was! With an Archangel’s status I could fix things, you see.” Christopher’s eyes were bright. “I could guide Humanity on a better path, make it a so much safer place for children to be!”
“Then why didn’t you Fall, when the time came?”
The light in Christopher’s eyes faded. “Because at that time I was small, weak and not really worth Lucifer’s full effort. He poured his poison into my ear and went on to his next subject, not looking back to see if the results took hold. Away from his direct attention I had time to consider his words, and I realized how wrong they were.”
“In what way?” Lawrence asked. “In truth you have expended great effort to make the world a safer place for children. All for the good, I hasten to add.”
“Yes, but that was my vision. The one Lucifer offered me was… not so benign. In his world, following his path, children would be safe yes. They would be loved at home, disciplined when needed, taught what they needed to know. More importantly, they would be obedient, never questioning the order presented to them, never looking beyond the horizons that were offered to them. They would be perfect little… robots.” Children’s face twisted in disgust.
“That wasn’t what you wanted?”
“Of course not. And yet…” Christopher looked out over the lake again. “The house behind me, Lawrence, is the dwelling place of all the souls of children who died before coming of age, before they even had a chance to live a full life. In a perfect world, in a world I would prefer, it would be a much smaller, much more empty house. I had a chance to make it so, and I put it aside.”
“Why?”
“Because to do so, I would have to only do one simple thing: Deny God’s vision for how the universe should be. Declare him wrong, and remake it to my will. That’s all. Just one simple thing. Just one thing, that if I had done so, would have twisted me into a Djinn, and left me uncaring for the souls I had once desired to protect.”
Lawrence looked sympathetic. “That must have taken an extraordinary strength of will, that most do not give you credit for.”
Christopher shook his head. “That? That decision was the easy one, made in anger and disgust once I realized what I had almost agreed to. The vision became harder to shake later.”
“But Lucifer is long gone from Heaven. Why should his words trouble you now?”
“Because, like any good lie, they contain a word of Truth.” Christopher turned and gestured towards his bustling House, eyes shining, not with Lucifer’s vision but with tears. “Every time there is some great disaster, or war, or famine, or plague, it guides children to my domain in numbers I can scarcely bear. In the small hours of the night, as they line up, confused, crying, I must greet them one by one, to reassure them that they are safe from all harm now. And in the back of my mind, as I comfort them, I still hear his poisonous words. How easy it would be to command Heaven’s Host, to make things right, so my House would be empty of souls that arrive before they’ve ever had a chance to live. And however much I know the consequences that I would bear should I follow those lies, I shall forever hear them.”
He grabbed hold of Lawrence’s chains. “Blessed is God, for he gave us the Malakim and the chains they bear. Cherish them, Lord Commander, for they are your anchor to Heaven and God’s true will. An anchor I do not nor ever can possess.”
Gently, Lawrence took Christopher’s hands in his own, and disengaged the Cherub from his chains. “Blessed is the Lord of Children, who must bear this weight. Blessed be that he is of the Host, and need not bear it alone.”
“Watch over me, Commander,” Christopher whispered, “for I know not what damage I might wreak, should the poison ever fully enter my soul.”
“Always, my loyal Archangel.”
The End
Note: In Nomine is copyright Steve Jackson Games and Siroz, and used here without permission.
The Sword found Children outside in front of his House, diligently sorting a collection of agate and cats eye marbles by size and color into brightly dyed bags, attended by a circle of Relievers and Blessed Souls. Lord Christopher looked up at Lawrence, and stood to bow before him, leaving his attendants to their task.
“Lord Commander, welcome to my House. How may I serve you?” Christopher greeted. Today he wore his favored form, that of a young man, or a child on the edge of adulthood, wearing a simple white tunic and sandals.
Lawrence looked down at the marbles. “I am not interrupting anything of importance, am I?”
“A pastime, nothing more,” Christopher said, and smiled.
“Walk with me then.” He headed towards the lake, where a dock lay, rowboats tied to its moorings, and some of Christopher’s charges busied themselves diving off the pier into the water. “I’ve observed you often devote time to such things, though there is little point to them.”
Children shrugged. “As you devote time to the practice of the sword, though no one in Heaven or elsewhere could ever hope to match your skill. We are our Words, Lord Commander, and we must heed to their natures. So I play marbles with my friends, and cherish their smiles.”
“And I take…” the word Pride died on his lips. “And I assure myself my skills have not diminished. Your point is taken, Lord Christopher.”
“Thank you.” They walked further, coming to a stop at the lake’s edge. “What brings you here today, Commander? It is not often that the Sword seeks out Children, save when calling a vote in the Council chamber.”
Lawrence mantled his black wings. “That is Truth, and I apologize for it. I have… been reminded recently… that maintaining a proper distance from one’s subordinates is a good thing, but to remain ignorant of them is an equally bad trait. I have been attempting to correct this behavior.”
“My thanks then. So this is merely a social call?”
“Not entirely. I was speaking to Novalis, and she pointed out a fact that I had not previously been aware of. That you were once a servitor of David is of course well known. But I did not know that your service to him actually pre-dated the Fall.”
“It is not something that I have reason to make mention of very often, and it… pains me, to dwell overmuch on it.” Christopher’s face wore a rare frown. “I do wish you could have known him then, as the Cherub he was, not the Malakite he is now. He was Stone of course, but he was… warmer… like a rock that had lain out in the sun, retaining heat to comfort those who slept beside it in the night. He was hard, but not so… unyielding.”
“The Fall changed everything, and everyone.”
“Yes,” Christopher waved his hand, “That was another life. I don’t see what relevance it holds now.”
“I found it curious,” Lawrence said. “Despite your status, you are often mistaken for a younger angel. Yet in fact you are one of the oldest. Certainly you are older than I. I would think you would take pains to correct this misapprehension, to gain more respect.”
Christopher looked annoyed now. “I am an Archangel, Commander. I serve Heaven, by serving my Word. I need nothing more, I desire nothing more.”
“Your humility is refreshing. Perhaps you might gift some of it to Michael.”
“Michael’s way of serving his Word is his own business, and it wise for Children to stay well clear of War,” Christopher said, still looking irritated. “I do hope you have a point you are attempting to reach, Commander. I miss my servitors’ company.”
“I do.” Lawrence drew his finger along the chains that crossed his chest. “I have a question for you. It is one I intend to ask all of the angels in Heaven, the ones that were here prior to the Fall. I will ask it of all of them, but you are the first.”
“How did I earn this honor?”
“Seraphim tell the Truth, always, and Elohim will tell it to you dispassionately. But, I think the keeper for the Word of Children is most likely to tell it to me without any guile whatsoever.”
“Fair enough. Ask your question, Lord Commander.”
Lawrence drew in a breath. “What did he offer you?”
Christopher did not look in his direction. “Who?”
“You know who I mean.”
“My deposition on the matter is on record in the Halls of Judgment, Lord Lawrence,” Christopher said, still looking out over the lake.
“Yes, your words are there,” Lawrence agreed. “But your emotions can not be conveyed through a cold report, not Truthfully, not even in Heaven. I want to hear it from your mouth, for my ears. I do not understand the Lightbringer, and the great respect he had in all of Heaven. I must understand it though, if I am to lead our armies against him, when that great, glorious day finally comes.”
Christopher finally met his eyes. “Very well.” He clasped his hands behind his back. “It’s simple enough. He offered to make me the Archangel of Children. He didn’t say that directly you understand, but his meaning was obvious. I didn’t even have the simple Word at that point, though my inclination was clear to myself and the rest of Heaven. Certainly to him.”
He went on. “Everything was clear to him, and he could make everything clear to everyone else. That was his gift, the nature of his Word. That’s why we trusted his council so deeply. That’s why it was such an utter shock to find he had not been speaking Truth to us, but Lies, poison in our ears to bring down Heaven.”
“Was it a true temptation to you?”
“Of course it was! With an Archangel’s status I could fix things, you see.” Christopher’s eyes were bright. “I could guide Humanity on a better path, make it a so much safer place for children to be!”
“Then why didn’t you Fall, when the time came?”
The light in Christopher’s eyes faded. “Because at that time I was small, weak and not really worth Lucifer’s full effort. He poured his poison into my ear and went on to his next subject, not looking back to see if the results took hold. Away from his direct attention I had time to consider his words, and I realized how wrong they were.”
“In what way?” Lawrence asked. “In truth you have expended great effort to make the world a safer place for children. All for the good, I hasten to add.”
“Yes, but that was my vision. The one Lucifer offered me was… not so benign. In his world, following his path, children would be safe yes. They would be loved at home, disciplined when needed, taught what they needed to know. More importantly, they would be obedient, never questioning the order presented to them, never looking beyond the horizons that were offered to them. They would be perfect little… robots.” Children’s face twisted in disgust.
“That wasn’t what you wanted?”
“Of course not. And yet…” Christopher looked out over the lake again. “The house behind me, Lawrence, is the dwelling place of all the souls of children who died before coming of age, before they even had a chance to live a full life. In a perfect world, in a world I would prefer, it would be a much smaller, much more empty house. I had a chance to make it so, and I put it aside.”
“Why?”
“Because to do so, I would have to only do one simple thing: Deny God’s vision for how the universe should be. Declare him wrong, and remake it to my will. That’s all. Just one simple thing. Just one thing, that if I had done so, would have twisted me into a Djinn, and left me uncaring for the souls I had once desired to protect.”
Lawrence looked sympathetic. “That must have taken an extraordinary strength of will, that most do not give you credit for.”
Christopher shook his head. “That? That decision was the easy one, made in anger and disgust once I realized what I had almost agreed to. The vision became harder to shake later.”
“But Lucifer is long gone from Heaven. Why should his words trouble you now?”
“Because, like any good lie, they contain a word of Truth.” Christopher turned and gestured towards his bustling House, eyes shining, not with Lucifer’s vision but with tears. “Every time there is some great disaster, or war, or famine, or plague, it guides children to my domain in numbers I can scarcely bear. In the small hours of the night, as they line up, confused, crying, I must greet them one by one, to reassure them that they are safe from all harm now. And in the back of my mind, as I comfort them, I still hear his poisonous words. How easy it would be to command Heaven’s Host, to make things right, so my House would be empty of souls that arrive before they’ve ever had a chance to live. And however much I know the consequences that I would bear should I follow those lies, I shall forever hear them.”
He grabbed hold of Lawrence’s chains. “Blessed is God, for he gave us the Malakim and the chains they bear. Cherish them, Lord Commander, for they are your anchor to Heaven and God’s true will. An anchor I do not nor ever can possess.”
Gently, Lawrence took Christopher’s hands in his own, and disengaged the Cherub from his chains. “Blessed is the Lord of Children, who must bear this weight. Blessed be that he is of the Host, and need not bear it alone.”
“Watch over me, Commander,” Christopher whispered, “for I know not what damage I might wreak, should the poison ever fully enter my soul.”
“Always, my loyal Archangel.”
The End
