Cleese vs Bellhop, final scene
Apr. 22nd, 2008 06:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jeriendhalOur Players
Cleese as The Manager
?? as the Bellhop
?? as Jasmine, a server at the hotel restaurant and the Bellhop's girlfriend. She's also an accounting wiz, frustrated at bouncing into the hotel's glass ceiling.
George Takei as the Mr. Takashima, The Very Important Hotel Company Executive
Scene: Just after the Grand Climax of Destruction in the hotel. The lobby is drenched in water after a bowling ball has dropped ten stories to the bottom of the central atrium, caught in the banner and flung like a slingshot into the front of the giant fishtank on the mezzanine, the waters pouring down like Noah's Flood to slam straight into the front desk where the Manager was standing.
LOW CLOSE UP: The brass & glass lobby doors open and we TRACK a pair of black men's italian shoes walking calmly through the half-inch of water standing in the lobby's green carpet, stopping at the front desk. We TRACK UP to MR. TAKASHIMA's face, which is a study in absolute inscrutability, honed from forty years of dealing with every possible hotel disaster. Except for this one.
THE MANAGER pops up like a pogo stick from behind the front desk where he'd fallen, his black suit soaked. He's got a fixed smile of utter panic on his face.
Manager: Mr. Takashima! Good morning! Right on schedule!
He grabs his tie with both fists and twists out a stream of water, straightens it, then offers his hand.
Takashima looks at him with continued blandness, ignoring the hand. He takes a bouquet of flowers from a vase that has improbably remained upright on the lobby desk, hands them to a trailing ASSISTANT, bends over and retrieves a flopping goldfish by the tail and calmly plops it into the water in the vase. Then he smiles calmly and shakes the Manager's hand.
Takashima: Good morning.
He looks about, taking public notice of the disaster for the first time.
(cont.) I take it there has been some difficultly with the fishtank?
Manager: Not at well! Well, a slight leak. A bit more than slight. Bigger than slight. A deluge really. Perfectly routine though!
BEAT. The panic smile slips in just plain panic.
(cont.) I don't suppose the phrase "I can explain" is going to carry any weight at this point?
Takashima: Let's give it a try.
Manager: Well, it all started with...
Looks up to see the BELLHOP and JASMINE observing from the safety of the mezzanine. His face turns to angry snarl.
(cont.) THEM! They're the ones responsible!
The Bellhop and Jasmine freeze as Takashima turns to look up at them.
Takashima (still calm): Would you two come down here, please?
The Bellhop and Jasmine approach with trepidation.
Jasmine: Good morning.
Bellhop: Hi.
Takashima: Care to explain what happened, son?
[At this point the Bellhop and Jasmine trade off the story, explaining exactly what they did to set up the disaster, in revenge for the Manager's treatment of them (and his embezzelment of the hotel's profits). In the process they basically demonstrate that they know the hotel inside out AND have a connection with the dedicated staff that runs it that the Manager completely lacks.]]
Takashima: I see.
Bellhop: Mr. Takashima, sir, I'm really sorry about ruining the lobby though. I'll make it to...
Takashima holds up his hand, shutting the Bellhop up.
Takashima: First things first. Do you know how you're going to get this lobby cleaned up?
Jasmine: There's an emergency cleaning service. The number is in the office. In the end using it would be cheaper than making the staff work overtime.
Takashima: How much cheaper?
Jasmine: At least 20%.
He turns to the Bellhop, who blanches a bit.
Takashima: As for you, we've got a lobby in ruins. How are you going to handle checking guests in and out today?
Bellhop: Um, we can set up a desk in the street entrance to the restaurant and run cable out to hook up the lobby terminal there. Maybe give everyone a 10% coupon for their next meal in the restaurant for their trouble.
Takashima: 25%
Bellhop: 25%, okay.
Takashima: You have fifteen minutes to set it up.
Bellhop (delighted, realizing he's not going to be canned): Yes, sir!
Takashima: An hour after that I want a peliminary budget and timetable for repairing the damage to the hotel.
Bellhop and Jasmine together: Yes, sir!
Manager (worried): Excuse me, isn't that my job?
Takashima (smiling firmly): Not anymore.
Montage of scenes of Bellhop and Jasmine doing what they said, then the lobby being repaired, then Bellhop and Jasmine standing proudly behind the lobby desk, dressed in manager suits, greeting guests as they come in.
THE END
Cleese as The Manager
?? as the Bellhop
?? as Jasmine, a server at the hotel restaurant and the Bellhop's girlfriend. She's also an accounting wiz, frustrated at bouncing into the hotel's glass ceiling.
George Takei as the Mr. Takashima, The Very Important Hotel Company Executive
Scene: Just after the Grand Climax of Destruction in the hotel. The lobby is drenched in water after a bowling ball has dropped ten stories to the bottom of the central atrium, caught in the banner and flung like a slingshot into the front of the giant fishtank on the mezzanine, the waters pouring down like Noah's Flood to slam straight into the front desk where the Manager was standing.
LOW CLOSE UP: The brass & glass lobby doors open and we TRACK a pair of black men's italian shoes walking calmly through the half-inch of water standing in the lobby's green carpet, stopping at the front desk. We TRACK UP to MR. TAKASHIMA's face, which is a study in absolute inscrutability, honed from forty years of dealing with every possible hotel disaster. Except for this one.
THE MANAGER pops up like a pogo stick from behind the front desk where he'd fallen, his black suit soaked. He's got a fixed smile of utter panic on his face.
Manager: Mr. Takashima! Good morning! Right on schedule!
He grabs his tie with both fists and twists out a stream of water, straightens it, then offers his hand.
Takashima looks at him with continued blandness, ignoring the hand. He takes a bouquet of flowers from a vase that has improbably remained upright on the lobby desk, hands them to a trailing ASSISTANT, bends over and retrieves a flopping goldfish by the tail and calmly plops it into the water in the vase. Then he smiles calmly and shakes the Manager's hand.
Takashima: Good morning.
He looks about, taking public notice of the disaster for the first time.
(cont.) I take it there has been some difficultly with the fishtank?
Manager: Not at well! Well, a slight leak. A bit more than slight. Bigger than slight. A deluge really. Perfectly routine though!
BEAT. The panic smile slips in just plain panic.
(cont.) I don't suppose the phrase "I can explain" is going to carry any weight at this point?
Takashima: Let's give it a try.
Manager: Well, it all started with...
Looks up to see the BELLHOP and JASMINE observing from the safety of the mezzanine. His face turns to angry snarl.
(cont.) THEM! They're the ones responsible!
The Bellhop and Jasmine freeze as Takashima turns to look up at them.
Takashima (still calm): Would you two come down here, please?
The Bellhop and Jasmine approach with trepidation.
Jasmine: Good morning.
Bellhop: Hi.
Takashima: Care to explain what happened, son?
[At this point the Bellhop and Jasmine trade off the story, explaining exactly what they did to set up the disaster, in revenge for the Manager's treatment of them (and his embezzelment of the hotel's profits). In the process they basically demonstrate that they know the hotel inside out AND have a connection with the dedicated staff that runs it that the Manager completely lacks.]]
Takashima: I see.
Bellhop: Mr. Takashima, sir, I'm really sorry about ruining the lobby though. I'll make it to...
Takashima holds up his hand, shutting the Bellhop up.
Takashima: First things first. Do you know how you're going to get this lobby cleaned up?
Jasmine: There's an emergency cleaning service. The number is in the office. In the end using it would be cheaper than making the staff work overtime.
Takashima: How much cheaper?
Jasmine: At least 20%.
He turns to the Bellhop, who blanches a bit.
Takashima: As for you, we've got a lobby in ruins. How are you going to handle checking guests in and out today?
Bellhop: Um, we can set up a desk in the street entrance to the restaurant and run cable out to hook up the lobby terminal there. Maybe give everyone a 10% coupon for their next meal in the restaurant for their trouble.
Takashima: 25%
Bellhop: 25%, okay.
Takashima: You have fifteen minutes to set it up.
Bellhop (delighted, realizing he's not going to be canned): Yes, sir!
Takashima: An hour after that I want a peliminary budget and timetable for repairing the damage to the hotel.
Bellhop and Jasmine together: Yes, sir!
Manager (worried): Excuse me, isn't that my job?
Takashima (smiling firmly): Not anymore.
Montage of scenes of Bellhop and Jasmine doing what they said, then the lobby being repaired, then Bellhop and Jasmine standing proudly behind the lobby desk, dressed in manager suits, greeting guests as they come in.
THE END
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no subject
Date: 2008-04-22 11:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-23 05:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-26 04:58 pm (UTC)well done
Date: 2008-05-07 06:49 pm (UTC)