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Summary: Due to a half-forgotten provision in one of their grants, the wizards of Ankh-Morpok's Unseen University find their cheese board (not to mention the rest of their rather expansive menu) under the threat of a budget cut unless they can throw together a team to play Foot the Ball, a game that resembles European Football only in the rioting aspect.

Meanwhile, chief candle dripper Trev Likely befriends his co-worker Nutt, a grey-skinned fellow who seems a bit too posh to be working in UU's support cellars and who seems to be attracting entirely too much interest both Archdean Ridcully and the Patrician himself.

Meanwhilemeanwhile, Glenda, head of UU's night kitchen, finds herself questioning her work and her life, as her naive friend Juliette is drawn into the world of high (or low, rather) Dwarf fashion.

In the end, the real question is whether a leopard can truly change his shorts.



I was, to be frank, fully prepare to dislike this book. I was never a fan of Discworld's UU books, especially anything involving Rincewind (who's appearance here amounts to an extended cameo). I'm even less interested in sports, especially soccer, most especially the really weird, nigh cultish aspects that it seems to hold over people in Europe. [1]

I should have known better. While this isn't the best Pratchett book (I reserve that for Thud!, Small Gods and maybe The Fifth Elephant) it's enjoyable enough. But the stakes never seem very high. Even the central mystery of Nutt comes across as anti-climatic. When he's revealed as a member of the legendary orcs, it really isn't that big a deal. At every point he's drawn as an incredibly erudite (to the point where he could probably hold his own against the Practician) kind and gentle person. There's not much tension at all in his story. That's made up for by the preparations for the Big Game and the subsequent comedy and drama there. [2]

Like I said, it's not the best Pratchett around. I seriously doubt he'll be able to top himself now, given his deteriorating condition. But even PTerry at half speed is still well ahead of most fantasy writers.

[1] Which isn't to say that the US doesn't have its own sports rivalries. I'm a cheerful Dallas Cowboys hater even though I've long since given up on the Redskins. But the soccer fans in the US are a relatively tiny bunch, and most of our other sports (baseball, basketball and American football) have no significant international connections at all. We love our teams, but aside from stirring ourselves every four years for the Olympics, we don't hang our national pride on them.

[2] I listened to this book on CD, and there's a particular point during the game when I felt very, very sorry for the reader. If you've read the book already you can guess what I'm talking about. And the bastards at the recording studio did make him repeat it all three times instead of just looping the damned thing.
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