Writing, Altered Trajectory, heavy sigh

[jeriendhal]

Stuck on the next scene on AT, when I was hoping to finish it this week. Problem is it's a wrap up bit with Rufus getting some answers from Commander Blake, but as it stands at the moment it's more nasty than I want, really violating her defenses. May have to rewrite it or regulate it to an offscreen event.

Comments

[mehhayperson.livejournal.com]

You might want to leave it as a harsh scene - considering how incredibly evil Blake was to Rufus and Hazel, him showing her any kind of consideration or mercy might not sit well with readers and give Rufus an unconvincing amount of mercy. You COULD leave it as an offscreen event, but it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying - we've all been watching Blake act like a sociopath; we want to see her get a smackdown on behalf of the protagonists.

You can do what you want, obviously, as a writer. But as an enjoyer of your stories (and a frequenter of TV Tropes), I've given my two cents :)

[jeriendhal.livejournal.com]

Re-reading it this afternoon it's a little less squicktastic than when I was writing it last night. The worst detail IMO opinion is that her dad is in the room too, basically letting it happen to help heal relations between the Vulpine and the Human governments. We'll see how it looks once I've finished it.