From the Movies in my Head Dept.
Sep. 11th, 2012 02:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jeriendhalJust another bit from my backbrain that refuses to go away.
* * *
Scene: Bob and Anne, the former American and the latter British, are racing across London to beat the baddies. At various points in the movie they've helped an odd little man in a white suit played Richard Hammond.
Anne: We're never going to make it! We have to be on the other side of London in less than thirty minutes if we're going to beat them.
Bob: Can we take the subway?
Anne: We'll never get there in time.
Bob: What about a cab?
Anne: It's rush hour. A cab will never make it!
The Man in the White Suit drives up in a white Ford Fiesta
White Suit: I think I can help you with that. You can use my car.
Anne: Look, you're a very sweet man, but what part of "London. Rush hour" did you miss here?
White Suit: Don't worry, he'll be driving. (Points offscreen)
Scene: POV Bob and Anne, looking at a tall DRIVER standing at the entrance to an alley. He's wearing a white jumpsuit, white helmet with blue mirrored visor, and is standing with his arms crossed over his chest, backlit, with fog rising up at right angles from his shoulders, while a chorus of angels sing.
Scene: Chorus cuts off abruptly as we cut back to Bob, Anne and White Suit.
Anne: Right, that'll work.
Bob: But who is that guy?!
Anne: Just get in the car!
Scene: A moment later. The Driver speeds off with Bob and Anne in the back. White Suit waves goodbye cheerily.
White Suit: Have fun! (Beat) It's always nice to be helpful.
He walks off whistling, fading away.
Scene: The Driver plows the Ford Fiesta through London's infamous traffic snarls in a way that is both perfectly legal and insanely dangerous. Meanwhile Anne and Bob are being thrown about in the back while she calls on her mobile.
Anne: Yes, hello. I need to pay my Congestion Tax.
Operator: May I have your vehicle's VIN number?
Anne: Do you need that right now? All right, just a moment.
She rolls down the window and leans across the windscreen, reading off the VIN
Anne: That's Charlie Zed 2-4-5-9-2-3-8-0-4-1-4-5 (Hops back in)
Operator: Thank you. Is that a white Ford Fiesta license number Apple Bravo Zed 3-4-1-2-5-9-6 being driven by an angelic parody of the Stig?
Long Beat
Anne: Yessssss…
Operator: Thank you. That will be ten pounds, please. May I have your credit card number?
Anne: (Starts digging through her purse) Bloody CCTV!
* * *
Scene: Bob and Anne, the former American and the latter British, are racing across London to beat the baddies. At various points in the movie they've helped an odd little man in a white suit played Richard Hammond.
Anne: We're never going to make it! We have to be on the other side of London in less than thirty minutes if we're going to beat them.
Bob: Can we take the subway?
Anne: We'll never get there in time.
Bob: What about a cab?
Anne: It's rush hour. A cab will never make it!
The Man in the White Suit drives up in a white Ford Fiesta
White Suit: I think I can help you with that. You can use my car.
Anne: Look, you're a very sweet man, but what part of "London. Rush hour" did you miss here?
White Suit: Don't worry, he'll be driving. (Points offscreen)
Scene: POV Bob and Anne, looking at a tall DRIVER standing at the entrance to an alley. He's wearing a white jumpsuit, white helmet with blue mirrored visor, and is standing with his arms crossed over his chest, backlit, with fog rising up at right angles from his shoulders, while a chorus of angels sing.
Scene: Chorus cuts off abruptly as we cut back to Bob, Anne and White Suit.
Anne: Right, that'll work.
Bob: But who is that guy?!
Anne: Just get in the car!
Scene: A moment later. The Driver speeds off with Bob and Anne in the back. White Suit waves goodbye cheerily.
White Suit: Have fun! (Beat) It's always nice to be helpful.
He walks off whistling, fading away.
Scene: The Driver plows the Ford Fiesta through London's infamous traffic snarls in a way that is both perfectly legal and insanely dangerous. Meanwhile Anne and Bob are being thrown about in the back while she calls on her mobile.
Anne: Yes, hello. I need to pay my Congestion Tax.
Operator: May I have your vehicle's VIN number?
Anne: Do you need that right now? All right, just a moment.
She rolls down the window and leans across the windscreen, reading off the VIN
Anne: That's Charlie Zed 2-4-5-9-2-3-8-0-4-1-4-5 (Hops back in)
Operator: Thank you. Is that a white Ford Fiesta license number Apple Bravo Zed 3-4-1-2-5-9-6 being driven by an angelic parody of the Stig?
Long Beat
Anne: Yessssss…
Operator: Thank you. That will be ten pounds, please. May I have your credit card number?
Anne: (Starts digging through her purse) Bloody CCTV!
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no subject
Date: 2012-09-11 09:31 pm (UTC)Hmm, maybe I can restrict it to Laughing Out Loud Without Pause...