GTA 5: Running Commentary, Part One
Sep. 18th, 2013 02:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jeriendhalWho would have thought thirty years ago, when I was fourteen and playing Tank! on my family’s Atari 2600, that today I’d be playing a game about gangsters and carjackings that starts with a man complaining to his shrink about his mid-life crisis?
Yes, I bought the game yesterday. Which was completely silly, considering I’m only going to be able to play it for an hour or two each evening after the kids have gone to bed, but it was worth it I think. I’ll try to post every day or so to give my impressions on the game and the missions. Nothing organized here, just a running commentary of my impressions.
We start with Rockstar’s homage to Fargo, as Michael and Trevor rob a bank in Sunny Mid-Winter Minnesota nine years before Present Day, and things go Horribly Wrong.
Okay, how can a town in rural East Bumfuck have fifty freaking cops able to descend on a remote depository at 6am when there’s a robbery?
Okay, shooting and cover tutorial… Apparently the L2 button to lock targets means “to vaguely aim in the target’s direction”. Also the “Switch to a different character” function isn’t as smooth as the trailers would have you believe.
Trevor is nowhere near as psycho as he appears in the trailer.
Next, driving tutorial. Same as always for GTA, though the boat like physics from GTA IV are history thank God. Sunrise over the snowfields is very pretty and realistic.
Michael, keeling over clutching your chest and begging Trevor to run would be slightly more credible if there was visible blood. Then again, Trevor is an idiot.
White fade to Present day. Michael is talking to his shrink (homage to either Analyze This or The Sopranos. Take your pick) Amazing amount of f-bombing. Personally, I’d love to have a mid-life crisis while living in Beverly Hills. He leaves, and Protagonist #3, Franklin (and useless friend Lamar), enters the picture, legally jacking high end cars as a repo man.
Wheee… we have cars with automatic convertible roofs now. Thanks for showing us Rockstar. Follow Lamar through the starts (and sidewalks) back to the dealer’s. Cop Avoidance Tutorial (bleah, give me my Pay and Spray back). Drop off car and boss is pleased, apparently not noticing I ripped off the doors and bumpers on the way back.
Drive home, find out I’m still living with my mom. Or maybe my girlfriend, it’s not exactly clear. Change clothes and then head back to work to get orders for another repo mission
Unfortunately I’m still familiarizing myself with the driving controls and end up running over a half dozen pedestrians, earning myself a two star wanted level. The chase goes on for a while, and I take the opportunity to make the classic move of driving into the LosAngeles Santos Aqueduct system. A handy sewer opening appears and I drive into that, expecting to come out in a few hundred feet…
Okay, here’s where I realized just how extensive Rockstar’s design of Los Santos went. I was expecting the sewer tunnel to go a few hundred yards. Instead I kept driving, and driving… Eventually I turned off and tried to find a way out, only to find myself in the subway tunnels. After scraping enough walls my car was undrivable and I left it abandoned at a station and headed for the surface.
Note that the tunnels weren’t empty either. I spotted several homeless people sheltering down there, and at least one guy wearing a gimp mask who started chasing after my car. 0_o
Phone buzzes with a text while I’m at the station. Great. I hate using a cell phone in real life and I have use one in the game to advance the plot at some points.
Get to work, find out I’m employee of the month. Yay. Lamar cements his jerkass friend status by getting pissy that he wasn’t made Emplyee of the Month, even though he’s spent the past couple of scenes complaining that I’m trying to be too legit instead of too In Da Hood.
Drive to Ballas (Hispanic gang territory) territory to repo a motorbike. Get into a firefight because Lamar is a hotheaded idiot, and chase down the bike I need. Which Lamar promptly steals for himself. Facepalm. I think I know who is going to be dead by the mid-point in the game to motivate my character.
Get a call from my sleazoid boss with more assignments when I come in. Head back over to find the shop is closed (it’s about midnight game time). Mucked about in the game morning by taking a side mission towing a car for the benefit of the tow truck owner’s girlfriend, who is too fried snorting coke to do it himself. His girlfriend isn’t exactly in great shape either. Getting a vibe from Franklin’s story that he’s the only one in his circle of acquaintances (can’t really call them friends) who can see beyond the world of Grove Street.
After that I call up a blimp on my phone and tool around until I’m bored. (Gift for pre-ordering through GameStop)
Shop is still closed when I go back to it, so I steal another car and start driving, trying to reach what looks like a waypoint on the upper part of the mini-map. I’m still chasing after it when night returns, heading in a generally northerly direction, eventually exchanging the car for another motorcycle when I dump the former in a stream. I’m in Blaine County property, outside the city, deer following me alone the rural road. It’s difficult to describe how big and beautiful this game world is, even the bits that are dirty and run down. It’s feels alive like the NPCs have a proper existence, not just following a set of scripted instructions like I know they must be.
I quick save my game and stop playing for now. The plot can wait, I’m still exploring.
Gripes and Notes: The initial tutorial levels would be much easier if designers would just admit that not everyone owns a 51 inch HDTV and make the fonts a readable size. I’m playing this on a 36 inch flatscreen and I’m squinting to read what I’m supposed to be doing.
Can’t seem to set waypoints on the GPS, which is going to make exploring a bother. Only get directions when I’m on a mission
Can’t figure out how to set up subtitles, or whether there are any. They’re a necessity for me, because I usually keep the sound low enough when I’m playing so not to bother Tracy or the kids.
I’m starting off preferring Franklin to Michael. For one thing he doesn’t whinge as much, and while they’re both equally potty mouthed, when Franklin and Lamar are busy chatting and insulting each other it just comes across as more naturally relaxed and jazz-like. It’s much preferable to Michael’s bitter F-bomb filled tirade about his dead-end life and ungrateful family.
If I’m looking at the map correctly, Blaine county is over twenty kilometers across at the longest point. “Big” doesn’t cover this game. And there are no empty spaces. There’s always something to see.
Yes, I bought the game yesterday. Which was completely silly, considering I’m only going to be able to play it for an hour or two each evening after the kids have gone to bed, but it was worth it I think. I’ll try to post every day or so to give my impressions on the game and the missions. Nothing organized here, just a running commentary of my impressions.
We start with Rockstar’s homage to Fargo, as Michael and Trevor rob a bank in Sunny Mid-Winter Minnesota nine years before Present Day, and things go Horribly Wrong.
Okay, how can a town in rural East Bumfuck have fifty freaking cops able to descend on a remote depository at 6am when there’s a robbery?
Okay, shooting and cover tutorial… Apparently the L2 button to lock targets means “to vaguely aim in the target’s direction”. Also the “Switch to a different character” function isn’t as smooth as the trailers would have you believe.
Trevor is nowhere near as psycho as he appears in the trailer.
Next, driving tutorial. Same as always for GTA, though the boat like physics from GTA IV are history thank God. Sunrise over the snowfields is very pretty and realistic.
Michael, keeling over clutching your chest and begging Trevor to run would be slightly more credible if there was visible blood. Then again, Trevor is an idiot.
White fade to Present day. Michael is talking to his shrink (homage to either Analyze This or The Sopranos. Take your pick) Amazing amount of f-bombing. Personally, I’d love to have a mid-life crisis while living in Beverly Hills. He leaves, and Protagonist #3, Franklin (and useless friend Lamar), enters the picture, legally jacking high end cars as a repo man.
Wheee… we have cars with automatic convertible roofs now. Thanks for showing us Rockstar. Follow Lamar through the starts (and sidewalks) back to the dealer’s. Cop Avoidance Tutorial (bleah, give me my Pay and Spray back). Drop off car and boss is pleased, apparently not noticing I ripped off the doors and bumpers on the way back.
Drive home, find out I’m still living with my mom. Or maybe my girlfriend, it’s not exactly clear. Change clothes and then head back to work to get orders for another repo mission
Unfortunately I’m still familiarizing myself with the driving controls and end up running over a half dozen pedestrians, earning myself a two star wanted level. The chase goes on for a while, and I take the opportunity to make the classic move of driving into the Los
Okay, here’s where I realized just how extensive Rockstar’s design of Los Santos went. I was expecting the sewer tunnel to go a few hundred yards. Instead I kept driving, and driving… Eventually I turned off and tried to find a way out, only to find myself in the subway tunnels. After scraping enough walls my car was undrivable and I left it abandoned at a station and headed for the surface.
Note that the tunnels weren’t empty either. I spotted several homeless people sheltering down there, and at least one guy wearing a gimp mask who started chasing after my car. 0_o
Phone buzzes with a text while I’m at the station. Great. I hate using a cell phone in real life and I have use one in the game to advance the plot at some points.
Get to work, find out I’m employee of the month. Yay. Lamar cements his jerkass friend status by getting pissy that he wasn’t made Emplyee of the Month, even though he’s spent the past couple of scenes complaining that I’m trying to be too legit instead of too In Da Hood.
Drive to Ballas (Hispanic gang territory) territory to repo a motorbike. Get into a firefight because Lamar is a hotheaded idiot, and chase down the bike I need. Which Lamar promptly steals for himself. Facepalm. I think I know who is going to be dead by the mid-point in the game to motivate my character.
Get a call from my sleazoid boss with more assignments when I come in. Head back over to find the shop is closed (it’s about midnight game time). Mucked about in the game morning by taking a side mission towing a car for the benefit of the tow truck owner’s girlfriend, who is too fried snorting coke to do it himself. His girlfriend isn’t exactly in great shape either. Getting a vibe from Franklin’s story that he’s the only one in his circle of acquaintances (can’t really call them friends) who can see beyond the world of Grove Street.
After that I call up a blimp on my phone and tool around until I’m bored. (Gift for pre-ordering through GameStop)
Shop is still closed when I go back to it, so I steal another car and start driving, trying to reach what looks like a waypoint on the upper part of the mini-map. I’m still chasing after it when night returns, heading in a generally northerly direction, eventually exchanging the car for another motorcycle when I dump the former in a stream. I’m in Blaine County property, outside the city, deer following me alone the rural road. It’s difficult to describe how big and beautiful this game world is, even the bits that are dirty and run down. It’s feels alive like the NPCs have a proper existence, not just following a set of scripted instructions like I know they must be.
I quick save my game and stop playing for now. The plot can wait, I’m still exploring.
Gripes and Notes: The initial tutorial levels would be much easier if designers would just admit that not everyone owns a 51 inch HDTV and make the fonts a readable size. I’m playing this on a 36 inch flatscreen and I’m squinting to read what I’m supposed to be doing.
Can’t seem to set waypoints on the GPS, which is going to make exploring a bother. Only get directions when I’m on a mission
Can’t figure out how to set up subtitles, or whether there are any. They’re a necessity for me, because I usually keep the sound low enough when I’m playing so not to bother Tracy or the kids.
I’m starting off preferring Franklin to Michael. For one thing he doesn’t whinge as much, and while they’re both equally potty mouthed, when Franklin and Lamar are busy chatting and insulting each other it just comes across as more naturally relaxed and jazz-like. It’s much preferable to Michael’s bitter F-bomb filled tirade about his dead-end life and ungrateful family.
If I’m looking at the map correctly, Blaine county is over twenty kilometers across at the longest point. “Big” doesn’t cover this game. And there are no empty spaces. There’s always something to see.
