Bingo

[jeriendhal]

"Thanks for letting me give this presentation to you, sir. I'm sure our company will be able provide your with the support... Uh, what are those cards that are being handed out?"

"They're bingo cards."

"Bingo cards?"

"Yes. They have a five by five grid of buzzwords commonly used when somebody comes along with some new product to offer us."

"I don't understand."

"Basically you get checked off every time you use a word or phrase like 'incentivize,' 'monetize,' 'core competency', and so forth. If someone calls out BINGO, they get a $10k bonus for the month, and your company will be blackballed from ever working with us again. Oh, and if you use the word 'synergy' at any time, it's an automatic fail, and the security guard, Olaf, is authorized to literally fling you out the door."

"...can I have ten minutes to re-write my presentation?"

"If you can do that in ten minutes, we might work well together."

Comments

[lilfluff.livejournal.com]

Mwahahaha! I think I like this company. :)

[jeriendhal.livejournal.com]

I think it's a subdivision of Evil Bastard Inc. :)

[mmegaera.livejournal.com]

Well, at least they had the decency to warn him!

[seawasp]

"I see you have incentivized tracking buzzwords by monetizing it to select your preferred presentational features in companies, synergizing selection with employee satisfaction!"

[jeriendhal.livejournal.com]

...I think I hate you. ;p

[seawasp]

I work for an R&D company and my job is writing proposals and giving presentations. This sort of stuff is one of my core competencies!

[autopope.livejournal.com]

You need to read more Dilbert.

(I used to work at a corporation where we used to know hours in advance if executives from head office were coming to pay us a surprise visit, because our managers would scurry round our workplace tearing down the laser-printed Dilbert strips from the beige cubicle walls :-)

[seawasp]

At GE, the engineers apparently didn't give a damn if their bosses saw them because their cubicles were practically PAPERED with them. And in a way that would not be easily removable.