A year ago today...
Sep. 26th, 2005 03:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jeriendhalI lost my dad. (link: http://www.livejournal.com/users/jeriendhal/2004/09/26/)
It's strange. I don't exactly feel sad right now. Just... neutral. I would give anything to have him back, to be able to talk to him, as two adults talk. A skill I hadn't learned really until very late in his life. But I wouldn't want him to have suffered another year like he had the two previous years before he died. That I would not wish on anyone. Practically the last words he said to Mom were "I'm tired", and we all knew he was. He'd lived a long, good life. Losing him was ending, a sad ending, but not an overwhelming one.
Not like when Tracy lost her dad, who got cut down by an infection at 53, when we'd thought he'd beaten cancer. She still hasn't beaten back the gloom from that, even though it's been over four years now.
It's strange. I don't exactly feel sad right now. Just... neutral. I would give anything to have him back, to be able to talk to him, as two adults talk. A skill I hadn't learned really until very late in his life. But I wouldn't want him to have suffered another year like he had the two previous years before he died. That I would not wish on anyone. Practically the last words he said to Mom were "I'm tired", and we all knew he was. He'd lived a long, good life. Losing him was ending, a sad ending, but not an overwhelming one.
Not like when Tracy lost her dad, who got cut down by an infection at 53, when we'd thought he'd beaten cancer. She still hasn't beaten back the gloom from that, even though it's been over four years now.
