Fic: No Rest for the Hunter
Sep. 4th, 2006 03:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jeriendhalNotes: In Nomine, Steve Irwin, humor.
Yes, I know his body isn't even cold yet. Blame ursulav for inspiring me.
It's hard to imagine that someone like Irwin would be happy in a conventional heaven, so I will assume that somewhere, there is a vast mudpit in the sky full of grumpy crocodiles that need their toenails trimmed.
-Ursula Vernon, 9/4/06
“Look, mate, there's gotta be some mistake. Losing your life to a stingray is pretty bloody rare, I'm telling ya.” the sandy haired man said to the seraph at Heaven's gates.
“Nevertheless, you managed it,” Garkitiel told him sternly. “Our only surprise is that it didn't occur sooner. At any rate, you should be thankful that you managed to reach your Destiny, instead of your Fate. I imagine Prince Kobal was looking forward to speaking to you personally.”
“Oh bugger, I'm glad i missed that then. I heard a couple of those big stroppy fellas with the black wings chattin' about him while I was waiting in line.” The man ran a hand through his hair. “So what do I now?”
“Well, now we must determine which of Heaven's realms you'd be most suited dwell in,” Gark told him. “Now, given your abhorrence towards injuring animals, I'm sure Flowers would certainly be an attractive...”
“He is ours,” a body with a dozen mouths said, manifesting over the man's head.
“Oh, crikey! What are you?” the man exclaimed.
“Lord Jordi!” Gackitiel swallowed and regained his composure. “Milord, I'm sure you have... many reasons... to talk to this man. However, I must remind you that he did manage to achieve his Destiny...”
“And he will serve in Our realm,” Jordi stated flatly.
“But, Milord, he's human.”
The man yanked briefly on the seraph's tail. “Oi! Who's this fellow?”
Gack focused a pair of eyes back on his charge. “Lord Jordi, Archangel of Animals.”
“Oh, that's apples then! I'll go with him.”
“Then come,” Jordi said.
“But, milord! The last human you let into the Vale was St. Francis of Assisi! Why do you want this man?”
Jordi growled. “It is not my choice. They keep asking for him, down by the Watering Hole.”
Yes, I know his body isn't even cold yet. Blame ursulav for inspiring me.
It's hard to imagine that someone like Irwin would be happy in a conventional heaven, so I will assume that somewhere, there is a vast mudpit in the sky full of grumpy crocodiles that need their toenails trimmed.
-Ursula Vernon, 9/4/06
“Look, mate, there's gotta be some mistake. Losing your life to a stingray is pretty bloody rare, I'm telling ya.” the sandy haired man said to the seraph at Heaven's gates.
“Nevertheless, you managed it,” Garkitiel told him sternly. “Our only surprise is that it didn't occur sooner. At any rate, you should be thankful that you managed to reach your Destiny, instead of your Fate. I imagine Prince Kobal was looking forward to speaking to you personally.”
“Oh bugger, I'm glad i missed that then. I heard a couple of those big stroppy fellas with the black wings chattin' about him while I was waiting in line.” The man ran a hand through his hair. “So what do I now?”
“Well, now we must determine which of Heaven's realms you'd be most suited dwell in,” Gark told him. “Now, given your abhorrence towards injuring animals, I'm sure Flowers would certainly be an attractive...”
“He is ours,” a body with a dozen mouths said, manifesting over the man's head.
“Oh, crikey! What are you?” the man exclaimed.
“Lord Jordi!” Gackitiel swallowed and regained his composure. “Milord, I'm sure you have... many reasons... to talk to this man. However, I must remind you that he did manage to achieve his Destiny...”
“And he will serve in Our realm,” Jordi stated flatly.
“But, Milord, he's human.”
The man yanked briefly on the seraph's tail. “Oi! Who's this fellow?”
Gack focused a pair of eyes back on his charge. “Lord Jordi, Archangel of Animals.”
“Oh, that's apples then! I'll go with him.”
“Then come,” Jordi said.
“But, milord! The last human you let into the Vale was St. Francis of Assisi! Why do you want this man?”
Jordi growled. “It is not my choice. They keep asking for him, down by the Watering Hole.”
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-04 07:22 pm (UTC)Love it.
Date: 2006-09-04 07:45 pm (UTC)Re: Love it.
Date: 2006-09-05 01:51 am (UTC)Re: Love it.
Date: 2006-09-05 11:19 am (UTC)Randy
no subject
Date: 2006-09-04 11:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-04 11:53 pm (UTC)And now I may have to (try to) explain it to my wife!
no subject
Date: 2006-09-05 03:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-06 10:46 am (UTC)Sure he wrestled crocs and acted like 'a right galah' as we say down under, but at heart he was a true animal lover and conservationist and if anyone deserves to be the first human since Francis of Assisi to be claimed by Jordi it's him (of course Christopher will have a few words to him about that stunt with his baby boy along the lines of "I realise your a 'trained professional' and you didn't think anything could go wrong, but even trained professionals can make mistakes and be surprised. Your death should have proved that.")