CrackFic: Day Job
Jun. 12th, 2008 01:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jeriendhalI blame ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
chaypeta for this. She's the one that had to fill out that stupid character meme quiz.
That she got from me.
Sigh. I'll get back to The Ship as soon as I figure out what happens next.
“’We need a lead on finding the Galapagos. We’ll see if any pirates spotted them,’ you said. ‘It’ll be easy as cake,” you said!” Hazel turned her head to glare at Rufus. They were both on their knees in the pirate ship’s docking bay, hands atop their heads, surrounded by scruffy freebooters of various species.
“Easy as pie,” Rufus corrected.
“Whatever. All I know is that we’re about to get eaten! If we’re lucky!”
“Now, now, there’s no reason to panic. We’re all friends here,” a vixen’s amused voice said. She slipped into the circle of pirates to look them over. The vixen was pretty enough, Hazel thought, with a warm red coat of fur, accented by white fur running from her chin down to her belly and dark paws. She could see this because the female was dressed in next to nothing, just a short leather skirt and a matching bikini top, accented by the weapon belt holding a heavy stunner that was snugged tight against her hips. Two gold rings hung from her right ear, matched by golden rings on each of her fingers and toes. The effect was so outrageous that it took Hazel a moment to match the face in her memory.
“Hey, you’re that mousey noblevixen that was at Rufus’ gawdawful party back on Vulpine Prime!” she said in surprise.
“Yes, and you’re that terribly rude commoner vixen that Lord Rufus had invited over,” Lady Melika said. “I see you’ve managed to patch up your relationship with him. Congratulations.”
“Miss Softpaw, what in the world…” Rufus sputtered.
“Oh, please, you’re hardly the only vulpine to ever go freebooting, Lord Rufus,” Melika said dryly.
“But you’re a noble of the House of Softpaw! You have a mate and children!”
“Is there some sort of rule in the Pirate’s Code about not having a family? I’m doing very well in that regard. All my children know is that I tend to go on long, and very lucrative, business trips and my dear husband Rolas keeps quiet and does exactly what he’s told.” She pulled out her stunner and pressed the business end to Hazel’s forehead. “Now, milord, I believe the traditional term is ‘Stand and deliver!’”
chaypeta for this. She's the one that had to fill out that stupid character meme quiz.That she got from me.
Sigh. I'll get back to The Ship as soon as I figure out what happens next.
“’We need a lead on finding the Galapagos. We’ll see if any pirates spotted them,’ you said. ‘It’ll be easy as cake,” you said!” Hazel turned her head to glare at Rufus. They were both on their knees in the pirate ship’s docking bay, hands atop their heads, surrounded by scruffy freebooters of various species.
“Easy as pie,” Rufus corrected.
“Whatever. All I know is that we’re about to get eaten! If we’re lucky!”
“Now, now, there’s no reason to panic. We’re all friends here,” a vixen’s amused voice said. She slipped into the circle of pirates to look them over. The vixen was pretty enough, Hazel thought, with a warm red coat of fur, accented by white fur running from her chin down to her belly and dark paws. She could see this because the female was dressed in next to nothing, just a short leather skirt and a matching bikini top, accented by the weapon belt holding a heavy stunner that was snugged tight against her hips. Two gold rings hung from her right ear, matched by golden rings on each of her fingers and toes. The effect was so outrageous that it took Hazel a moment to match the face in her memory.
“Hey, you’re that mousey noblevixen that was at Rufus’ gawdawful party back on Vulpine Prime!” she said in surprise.
“Yes, and you’re that terribly rude commoner vixen that Lord Rufus had invited over,” Lady Melika said. “I see you’ve managed to patch up your relationship with him. Congratulations.”
“Miss Softpaw, what in the world…” Rufus sputtered.
“Oh, please, you’re hardly the only vulpine to ever go freebooting, Lord Rufus,” Melika said dryly.
“But you’re a noble of the House of Softpaw! You have a mate and children!”
“Is there some sort of rule in the Pirate’s Code about not having a family? I’m doing very well in that regard. All my children know is that I tend to go on long, and very lucrative, business trips and my dear husband Rolas keeps quiet and does exactly what he’s told.” She pulled out her stunner and pressed the business end to Hazel’s forehead. “Now, milord, I believe the traditional term is ‘Stand and deliver!’”
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-12 07:27 pm (UTC)You need to do more crack like this. Forget that shippy story you're going on about, write more stuff like this!
Wow, though. I'm so glad that our Rufus never finds out about this. It'd prove that every single person in this universe has gone to hell compared to our one.
(I'm not sure that sentence makes the sense I want it to. Whatever, I'm tired)
no subject
Date: 2008-06-12 08:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-13 12:58 am (UTC)Melika as a pirate warlord, abett a polite and civilised one.
And the more I think about it the more I think it would have been so much fun to have her turn up like this in GoG meeting canon Rufus. lol.
Thanks for the giggle this morning. :) ... and keep working on your story dammit! I want to be able to read the thing some day!
no subject
Date: 2008-06-13 02:36 pm (UTC)As for canon Ru, I think he'd be caught between being utterly appalled and quite possibly attracted. Fortunately for him, she's already a married woman.
Canon Melika... God, I have no idea what she'd think. I'm betting on appalled, but then again, how many years has she spent working at Madame Cher's?