jeriendhal | From the Movies in My Head Dept.

This is what I get for mixing R. A. MacAvoy's Tea With the Black Dragon with cheap action flicks.

SCENE: MR. LUNG, an elegant Chinese man apparently in his eighties takes a shortcut through an alley. Six members of a MULTI-ETHNIC STREET GANG of the sort you only see in Hollywood movies appear and block both end of the alley and brandish weapons.

GANG LEADER: Hand over your money, old man!

MR. LUNG (calm to the point of indifference): I'm sorry, I'd rather not. Especially to someone as rude as you.

GANG LEADER: Oh yeah? Who do you think you are?

MR. LUNG (smiles condesendingly): I'm the ancient oriental man a set of young punks have trapped in an alley. Now, how does this usually end in the movies you've seen?

The GANG MEMBERS, being somewhat genre-savvy, look at each other uneasily. The CHINESE gang member is the first to break and run, with the rest following a moment later.

GANG LEADER: Guys! He's bluffing! You can SEE he's bluffing!

(he's left alone in the alley with MR LUNG)

MR. LUNG (a little sad now): Young man, I never bluff.

We pull forward into a CLOSE UP of the GANG LEADER's face, as it changes from anger to horror as a low growl echoes from off screen.

CUT TO Outside the Alley, where all we hear now are the GANG LEADER's screams.