RVA: Shadow of Doubt, Secrets
Oct. 16th, 2015 03:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jeriendhalSomeone was gently shaking Salli awake. She was laying awkwardly on the cushions of the conversation pit, still dressed in her increasingly rumpled party clothes, the morning sun shining through a break in the curtains. Blinking wearily back into wakefulness, she saw Nari standing over her with an apprehensive expression on her face.
“Milady?” Nari said. “It's after 0900. Your lady mother thought you should be awake by now, and sent me to check on you. Are you all right?”
Salli sat up carefully, her head pounding and a tremor in her paws that warned she'd missed her morning anxiety medication. “No,” she said. “Go to my pill case and bring me everything in the third compartment, along with a cup of water. It's in the Necessary, on the vanity table.”
“Yes, milady.” Nari scurried out, returning a moment later with Salli's pill regimen and the cup. Salli swallowed them both down eagerly, the headache and tremors fading. “Is that better?”
“Yes,” Salli said. She rubbed at her cyber socket, looking around vaguely for her eye patch. It must have disappeared somewhere in the cushions after she'd fallen asleep.
How long has it been since I've cried myself to sleep? she wondered. She felt a wave of irritation, directed towards Ali. Damn the girl for being so utterly stubborn. How could someone be so utterly unwilling to stand up for themselves? Selflessness was one thing, but Ali's wish to be the proverbial love martyr was utterly infuriating. Salli had wept for what seemed like an hour after Ali had left, wanting nothing more than to rush into the young bodyguard's room and drag her back into Salli's bed to be properly cuddled and convinced of her self-worth.
So why didn't you? she wondered. Mostly out of anger, of course. Anger towards Ali for being so deliberately passive in the face of Mother's disapproval. Also, she had enough self-awareness to realize, anger towards the younger vixen for so very deliberately laying out Salli's worst fears about their relationship. If I can not convince Mother of Alinadar's inherent worth, eventually she's going to have to sever my relationship with Ali. And I would be bound to obey her, or declare myself forsworn and cut myself off from my family. Which, on the whole, wouldn't be an utter disaster, come to think of it. Though she'd lose the rent revenues assigned to her by her parents, and also lose the governorship of Greenholme, her personal savings would be enough for her and Ali to live the rest of their lives in comfort, if not luxury, assuming it was invested cautiously. Melanie would probably think it was terribly romantic.
Salli shuddered, and resolved to find another solution before that came to pass.
“Milady, are you sure you're all right?” Nari prompted.
“Yes,” Salli said. “Just thinking. Have you seen Alinadar? She normally wakes me at dawn.”
“She came out of her room about two hours ago, and headed down the stairs. I'm not sure where she went after that.”
“Ah, thank you.” She had become used to Ali waking her up in the morning, the younger vixen almost always rising before Salli did. Letting her sleep in was obviously a message of some sort. Possibly just I thought you needed the sleep, but then she would have fully expected Ali to be waiting outside the door, or in the conversation pit, waiting for Salli to awaken. Another, darker, possibility was that Ali was already trying to distance herself from Salli, to spare the noblevixen further conflict with her parents.
Well, you're out of luck there, Ali, Salli thought grimly. She picked up her pocket comp from where she'd dropped it on the conversation pit's center table, bringing up the tracking app linked to Ali's own comp. The map display showed a track of Ali's movements. From the repeated circular pattern it looked like Ali had been jogging the perimeter of the manor grounds for the last two hours. Salli did the math briefly in her head and realized that the young bodyguard must have run over twenty kilometers already.
“Nari, see if you can't find my eye patch. I'm going to get cleaned up.” Salli headed into the shower, scrubbing herself down thoroughly before drying off and dressing her usual House blues. A quick check of her comp revealed Ali was still out jogging.
“I'm sorry, Milady Salli, I couldn't find it. It must have slipped under the couch,” Nari reported regretfully.
“No matter. Get me a blue scarf from my dresser,” Salli ordered. When the serving girl returned, Salli folded the scarf in half longways, then looped it between her ears and knotted it in place, making an impromptu bandage to replace the patch and keep dust out of her cyber socket.
“Very fashionable, Milady,” Nari said approvingly. “Would you like me to brush your tail out before it finishes drying?”
That had been one of Ali's favorite tasks, Salli remembered. One that they had both looked forward to, filling Ali's desire to serve and Salli's pleasure at being pampered. She sighed slightly and nodded to the girl, sitting on a settee while Nari knelt behind her and started running a pelt brush through her tail fur.
“Will you be going out today, Milady?” Nari asked as she continued to brush.
“Yes,” Salli told her. “I've an appointment this afternoon to see to my cyber-eye. The surgeon will have to inspect it to see if the whole socket has to be replaced, or whether they can just repair the internal circuitry and put in a new eye.”
“You should let Miss Zaker know then,” Nari said, then seemed catch herself and add, “That is, if Miss Alinadar is busy.”
“We will see.” Salli paused for a moment. Remembering her conversation with Zaker before the party, she asked, “Nari, does Alinadar scare you? Answer honestly, please.”
Nari hesitated, her brush strokes pausing. Finally she said, “Yes.”
“Why?”
The serving girl began stroking the brush again, more slowly now. “She's so strange. She keeps to herself. Doesn't even leave her room unless it's to eat or tend to you. She doesn't even talk to the other servants, unless it's to ask a question. She snarled at me once, even, when I came into her room to do some cleaning.”
Salli turned her head to try and look at Nari. “Did your surprise her? Ali's experiences have left her with rather touchy reflexes. She doesn't like being startled.”
“I don't think it was that. Well, maybe,” Nari said. “She was in the room proper, but when I tried to go into the Necessary to clean, that was when she snarled at me. She told me to stay out until she took care of something.”
“What was she taking care of?” Salli asked.
“I don't know. She went in there for just a moment. I heard the toilet flush, and then she said I could come in. There wasn't anything in there, though the medicine cabinet was locked for some reason.”
Salli's ears pricked up briefly, her curiosity, and apprehension, aroused. Ali, harboring secrets? That was very unlike the self-effacing, and in her own way painfully honest, vixen. “Ali has had a very difficult life. Sometimes she has a hard time interacting with...” Normal people, she almost said. Instead she ended with, “...civilians.”
“You're not scared of her,” Nari said.
“How could I be? She's saved my life, more than once, and at nearly the cost of her own. She asks for nothing of me, and gives all of herself. What am I to be frightened of?”
“But they say she murdered cubs.”
Salli felt her hackles rise up. “Yes, when she was a slave to one of the most vicious criminals of this generation. She had no choice but to kill, or be tortured and killed herself. I can pity her for that, but I can't fear her.”
Nari's voice was doubtful, “Yes, Milady.”
“Milady?” Nari said. “It's after 0900. Your lady mother thought you should be awake by now, and sent me to check on you. Are you all right?”
Salli sat up carefully, her head pounding and a tremor in her paws that warned she'd missed her morning anxiety medication. “No,” she said. “Go to my pill case and bring me everything in the third compartment, along with a cup of water. It's in the Necessary, on the vanity table.”
“Yes, milady.” Nari scurried out, returning a moment later with Salli's pill regimen and the cup. Salli swallowed them both down eagerly, the headache and tremors fading. “Is that better?”
“Yes,” Salli said. She rubbed at her cyber socket, looking around vaguely for her eye patch. It must have disappeared somewhere in the cushions after she'd fallen asleep.
How long has it been since I've cried myself to sleep? she wondered. She felt a wave of irritation, directed towards Ali. Damn the girl for being so utterly stubborn. How could someone be so utterly unwilling to stand up for themselves? Selflessness was one thing, but Ali's wish to be the proverbial love martyr was utterly infuriating. Salli had wept for what seemed like an hour after Ali had left, wanting nothing more than to rush into the young bodyguard's room and drag her back into Salli's bed to be properly cuddled and convinced of her self-worth.
So why didn't you? she wondered. Mostly out of anger, of course. Anger towards Ali for being so deliberately passive in the face of Mother's disapproval. Also, she had enough self-awareness to realize, anger towards the younger vixen for so very deliberately laying out Salli's worst fears about their relationship. If I can not convince Mother of Alinadar's inherent worth, eventually she's going to have to sever my relationship with Ali. And I would be bound to obey her, or declare myself forsworn and cut myself off from my family. Which, on the whole, wouldn't be an utter disaster, come to think of it. Though she'd lose the rent revenues assigned to her by her parents, and also lose the governorship of Greenholme, her personal savings would be enough for her and Ali to live the rest of their lives in comfort, if not luxury, assuming it was invested cautiously. Melanie would probably think it was terribly romantic.
Salli shuddered, and resolved to find another solution before that came to pass.
“Milady, are you sure you're all right?” Nari prompted.
“Yes,” Salli said. “Just thinking. Have you seen Alinadar? She normally wakes me at dawn.”
“She came out of her room about two hours ago, and headed down the stairs. I'm not sure where she went after that.”
“Ah, thank you.” She had become used to Ali waking her up in the morning, the younger vixen almost always rising before Salli did. Letting her sleep in was obviously a message of some sort. Possibly just I thought you needed the sleep, but then she would have fully expected Ali to be waiting outside the door, or in the conversation pit, waiting for Salli to awaken. Another, darker, possibility was that Ali was already trying to distance herself from Salli, to spare the noblevixen further conflict with her parents.
Well, you're out of luck there, Ali, Salli thought grimly. She picked up her pocket comp from where she'd dropped it on the conversation pit's center table, bringing up the tracking app linked to Ali's own comp. The map display showed a track of Ali's movements. From the repeated circular pattern it looked like Ali had been jogging the perimeter of the manor grounds for the last two hours. Salli did the math briefly in her head and realized that the young bodyguard must have run over twenty kilometers already.
“Nari, see if you can't find my eye patch. I'm going to get cleaned up.” Salli headed into the shower, scrubbing herself down thoroughly before drying off and dressing her usual House blues. A quick check of her comp revealed Ali was still out jogging.
“I'm sorry, Milady Salli, I couldn't find it. It must have slipped under the couch,” Nari reported regretfully.
“No matter. Get me a blue scarf from my dresser,” Salli ordered. When the serving girl returned, Salli folded the scarf in half longways, then looped it between her ears and knotted it in place, making an impromptu bandage to replace the patch and keep dust out of her cyber socket.
“Very fashionable, Milady,” Nari said approvingly. “Would you like me to brush your tail out before it finishes drying?”
That had been one of Ali's favorite tasks, Salli remembered. One that they had both looked forward to, filling Ali's desire to serve and Salli's pleasure at being pampered. She sighed slightly and nodded to the girl, sitting on a settee while Nari knelt behind her and started running a pelt brush through her tail fur.
“Will you be going out today, Milady?” Nari asked as she continued to brush.
“Yes,” Salli told her. “I've an appointment this afternoon to see to my cyber-eye. The surgeon will have to inspect it to see if the whole socket has to be replaced, or whether they can just repair the internal circuitry and put in a new eye.”
“You should let Miss Zaker know then,” Nari said, then seemed catch herself and add, “That is, if Miss Alinadar is busy.”
“We will see.” Salli paused for a moment. Remembering her conversation with Zaker before the party, she asked, “Nari, does Alinadar scare you? Answer honestly, please.”
Nari hesitated, her brush strokes pausing. Finally she said, “Yes.”
“Why?”
The serving girl began stroking the brush again, more slowly now. “She's so strange. She keeps to herself. Doesn't even leave her room unless it's to eat or tend to you. She doesn't even talk to the other servants, unless it's to ask a question. She snarled at me once, even, when I came into her room to do some cleaning.”
Salli turned her head to try and look at Nari. “Did your surprise her? Ali's experiences have left her with rather touchy reflexes. She doesn't like being startled.”
“I don't think it was that. Well, maybe,” Nari said. “She was in the room proper, but when I tried to go into the Necessary to clean, that was when she snarled at me. She told me to stay out until she took care of something.”
“What was she taking care of?” Salli asked.
“I don't know. She went in there for just a moment. I heard the toilet flush, and then she said I could come in. There wasn't anything in there, though the medicine cabinet was locked for some reason.”
Salli's ears pricked up briefly, her curiosity, and apprehension, aroused. Ali, harboring secrets? That was very unlike the self-effacing, and in her own way painfully honest, vixen. “Ali has had a very difficult life. Sometimes she has a hard time interacting with...” Normal people, she almost said. Instead she ended with, “...civilians.”
“You're not scared of her,” Nari said.
“How could I be? She's saved my life, more than once, and at nearly the cost of her own. She asks for nothing of me, and gives all of herself. What am I to be frightened of?”
“But they say she murdered cubs.”
Salli felt her hackles rise up. “Yes, when she was a slave to one of the most vicious criminals of this generation. She had no choice but to kill, or be tortured and killed herself. I can pity her for that, but I can't fear her.”
Nari's voice was doubtful, “Yes, Milady.”
