Song: Cover Art Blues
Apr. 20th, 2016 08:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jeriendhalMusic: Acoustic blues guitar
A long time ago,
In 2009
I went to Kindle Direct
Out to make a few dimes.
I wrote up a story
To make a lotta cash.
But without a decent cover all the readers gave it a pass.
CHORUS
Oh, yeah
Didn’t have a clue what to do.
Yeah I had a real bad case,
Of No Cover Art Blues.
Then one day,
I went begging to a friend.
A pretty Aussie momma,
Real good with a coloring pen.
I said, “I need a beautiful mage,”
“And her pretty elfboi friend.”
“But I’m telling right now I ain’t got much spend.”
CHORUS
She said, “I’ll draw ya cover,”
“Cuz I like your stories a bunch.”
“But I gotta tell ya, I can only do it once.”
It’s a pretty picture, she didn’t take a chance.
Cuz she knows the lady readers love an elf in tight pants!
CHORUS
I wrote more stories
With dragons, furries and ghostly shuttles.
But every time, the covers were just a muddle.
I needed artists, ones that were fast and cheap.
But when I told ‘em my budget, they looked at me like I was a freak.
SPOKEN: “Hey baby, think of the exposure! Hey, where ya going?!”
CHORUS
The years have gone by,
Cover artists have come and gone.
Found some friends who did me favors,
But the deals didn’t last too long.
They were just too good,
To stay in my price range
They said, “Hey Royce, we really love you, but we’ve got bills to pay.”
CHORUS
I got my latest book done
Art’s still my pain
Gonna ‘shop an image,
Found in Public Domain.
It looks like crap, the font is so lame.
But hey at least it’s still better,
Than the covers published by Baen!
Spoken: “A guy’s gotta have standards!”
CHORUS
A long time ago,
In 2009
I went to Kindle Direct
Out to make a few dimes.
I wrote up a story
To make a lotta cash.
But without a decent cover all the readers gave it a pass.
CHORUS
Oh, yeah
Didn’t have a clue what to do.
Yeah I had a real bad case,
Of No Cover Art Blues.
Then one day,
I went begging to a friend.
A pretty Aussie momma,
Real good with a coloring pen.
I said, “I need a beautiful mage,”
“And her pretty elfboi friend.”
“But I’m telling right now I ain’t got much spend.”
CHORUS
She said, “I’ll draw ya cover,”
“Cuz I like your stories a bunch.”
“But I gotta tell ya, I can only do it once.”
It’s a pretty picture, she didn’t take a chance.
Cuz she knows the lady readers love an elf in tight pants!
CHORUS
I wrote more stories
With dragons, furries and ghostly shuttles.
But every time, the covers were just a muddle.
I needed artists, ones that were fast and cheap.
But when I told ‘em my budget, they looked at me like I was a freak.
SPOKEN: “Hey baby, think of the exposure! Hey, where ya going?!”
CHORUS
The years have gone by,
Cover artists have come and gone.
Found some friends who did me favors,
But the deals didn’t last too long.
They were just too good,
To stay in my price range
They said, “Hey Royce, we really love you, but we’ve got bills to pay.”
CHORUS
I got my latest book done
Art’s still my pain
Gonna ‘shop an image,
Found in Public Domain.
It looks like crap, the font is so lame.
But hey at least it’s still better,
Than the covers published by Baen!
Spoken: “A guy’s gotta have standards!”
CHORUS
no subject
Date: 2016-04-20 04:59 pm (UTC)Than the covers published by Baen!"
EXCUSE ME? I think overall Baen's given me bloody awesome covers.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-20 05:32 pm (UTC)As a Lois McMaster-Bujold fan, I'll have to disagree with you here. The awfulness of her Baen covers has been a long running complaint on her listserve.
no subject
Date: 2016-04-20 05:48 pm (UTC)And insofar as LMB is concerned, Baen had nothing to do with this:
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51J58M82JDL._SX294_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg
no subject
Date: 2016-04-20 07:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-04-20 07:59 pm (UTC)