jeriendhal: (Default)
I’m... ambivalent ... about the MST3K reboot.




Like pretty much every other TV viewer on the planet, I was thrilled at the success of the MST3K Kickstarter back in 2015, and eager to finally see new episodes after a nearly 20 year hiatus consisting of illegal YouTube uploads and periodic Rhino Video and Shout Factory DVD releases of the old series. But I was also hesitant. Even with Joel Hodgson back on board, and the eventual backing of Netflix, which has a happy of back off kilter programming, I had doubts. Catching lightning in a bottle twice is always an iffy proposition.




Several months after the release of the new show on Netflix, I’m still on the fence about it. On an individual basis, the episodes are just fine. There are some standouts (“Reptilicus”, “Starcrash”, “Yongary”, “At the Earth’s Core” ), some that are just ok (“Cry Wilderness”, “Avalanche”, “The Land That Time Forgot”, “Wizards of the Lost Kingdom I & II”, “The Loves of Hercules”) and some I won’t watch again (“Cry Wilderness”, “Carnival Magic”, “The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t”, “The Time Travellers”), but nothing that is outright unwatchable even with the a host and the bots (Stuff like “The Castle of Fu Manchu” from the old series). Riffing terrible (or at least *odd*) movies can rarely go badly, especially with a competent team writing the jokes, and they’ve got that. It’s the bits in between that bother me.




Honestly, I think the move from Minnesota to Los Angeles worked in the show’s disfavor. Even knowing it had to be spruced up a bit to accommodate moving from 4:3 video to 16:9 HD formatting, everything seems too *slick* now. The host segments remind me painfully of the first Wayne’s World movie, where our heroes move from filming on a camcorder in their parents ‘ basement to a professionally recreated set resembling their parents’ basement, and the results are as awkward and false as you can imagine. Instead of a handmade Midwestern charm, we’ve got a Hollywood recreation of handmade Midwestern charm.




On the previous show practically the entire cast consisted of the writing staff and whatever interns they could drag onto the set for bit parts. Now we have genuine actors Felicia Day and Patton Oswalt as the Mads, Internet personality Jonah Ray as our kidnap victim/test subject, and two Jim Henson veterans working the bots. And while previously the only Special Guest Stars were Leonard Maltin and a walk on by a Minnesota Vikings linebacker, we’ve got one appearing Every. Single. Episode. And it’s just as distracting as I feared when I realized it was going to be a thing.




On a more nitpicky basis I’m not fond of Felicia Day and Patton Oswalt as the Mads. Instead of the mildly goofy evil of Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank, or the cheerfully twisted family of Pearl, Prof. Bobo and Brain Guy, we’ve got Kinga and Max/Son of Frank. Kinga just comes across as desperate to be as evil as Grandma and Dad [1], and Max is just... kinda there, lacking either Frank Mk. 1’s mellow absurdity, or Brain Guy and Bobo’s outright insanity.




The host segments come across as scripted and lacking the occasional off the cuff improvisation of the original. Some of that can be probably chalked up to them, all of them, apparently being filmed in one really long shooting day, but they come across as having been scripted so tightly any spontaneity died in the writer’s room. [2]




Don’t get me wrong, I think the new MST3K is funny. It’s impossible for this show, rebooted or no, *not* to be funny. But the old MST3K was funny and *charming*. The new one... isn’t.




[1] Seriously, anybody who has a house band in their secret lab is just trying too hard.



[2] I’m trying, and failing, to imagine the new show doing anything as Only a Liberal Arts Major Will Get It absurd as Sci-Fi Channel Era Mike and the Bots doing a Sven and Ollie joke in the style of Ingmar Bergman.
jeriendhal: (Wazagan)
From my as yet to be written remake screenplay of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians."

Scene: Newscaster set. As the newscast goes on, ticker at the bottom of the screen displays various messages, "Wooden block and toy train stocks tumble. NYSE suspends trading" "UN states "Give sanctions more time."" "Jack Frost, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy assure world "Toys will be delivered on time.""

Newscaster: With Santa's kidnapping by Martians confirmed, other major myth logical figures have been vocal in their support for Santa, including from at least one unexpected quarter.

Scene: Cut to a dark cave lit by bursts of flame in the background. Standing in front of the camera is Pitch (Bill Corbett), in the traditional red devil suit, face paint, and plastic pitchfork) and screen label "Pitch, Spokesdevil for the Forces of Darkness"

Pitch: While of course Lord Lucifer has significant philosophical differences with Mr. Claus, this sort of unwarranted attack on a beloved mythological figure cannot be condoned, and the forces of Hell pledge their full support behind Santa and his wife in this time of crisis.
jeriendhal: (Wazagan)
Unless you were sitting under a rock last November, you may have heard that Joel Hodgson ran a wildly successful Kickstarter to revive MSt3K with 14 new episodes. Though the cast has been announced, what movies the new crew of the Satellite of Love will be watching is still under wraps. It's a hard choice, given the wealth of crappy movies out, but I've got some ideas.


1. Destination Moon: Rarely seen these days, like This Island Earth it's almost too good to mock, being a high budget Hollywood A-movie with a lack of silly monsters. On the other it's definitely mired in a certain 50's combination of earnestness, Commie paranoia, and lack of female roles (aside from the one love interest apparently inserted to show the female half of the human race existed).

2. Earth vs. the Flying Saucers: Flying Saucers, deadpan serious scientists in ties and smoking pipes, tons of stock footage and Ray Harryhausen special effects, casual sexism, rubber science galore. The only real question is why MST3K never riffed it before.

3. Kronos: More obscure than the above two films, it's got a weird 'monster' that's a hundred foot tall walking building with a habit of mind controlling people to cement it's takeover of the earth. A decent script, but with plenty of pacing issues and silly effects to give the SoL crew room to riff.

4. Trancers: A cop from a very Noirish future totally not ripped off from Bladerunner time travels into the body of his identical grandfather to hunt a body swapping criminal. One of the many, many films from B-movie director Charles Band, and in that sweet spot between Very Weird, Decent Action and Limited Budget to make it riffable.


What do think, sirs?
jeriendhal: (Sporfle)
6. Warrior of the Lost World (501): “MEGAWEAPON! MEGAWEAPON! MEGAWEAPON!” – In which our “hero” drives a motorbike across the green, lush, post-apocalyptic wasteland, abandons the girl at a critical moment, whines about wearing a jumpsuit, and is out acted by a dump truck mounted with spikes and a flamethrower (the Megaweapon). You have to feel sorry for poor Persis Khambata and Donald Pleasance for being reduced to acting in this dreck. But it’s perfect fodder for Joel and the bots.

7. The Creeping Terror (606): A shag carpet rampages its way across a small town. Notable for giving Mike and the bots a lot of room to riff, since almost the entire movie is narrated, because the original filmmaker couldn’t afford to loop the dialog.

8. Invasion of the Neptune Men (819): “They blew up the Hitler Building!” – While it doesn’t quite beat Manos as one of the worst movies MST3K ever riffed, it’s certainly one of the ones Best Brains hated the most, mostly for using footage from actual WWII bombings in a kids movie. Laughable, ineffective aliens. A hero that doesn’t actually do much. Free range kids with Level 5 security clearance. Just terrible from start to finish, with plenty of material to riff.

9. Space Mutiny (820): “Oh, God! She’s presenting like a mandrill!” – If there’s one flaw to MST3k’s treatment of this movie, it’s them completely missing the fact that all the special effects were “borrowed” from the original Battlestar Galactica. Otherwise it’s a hilarious space adventure, with a supposedly 20 something love interest very obviously in her late 30’s (and wearing incredibly sexist Space Clothes tm on top of that), the interior of a brick factory passing for a spaceship, and such lovely continuity goofs like a character who was killed on screen showing up back at her console in the very next scene.

10. The Pumaman (903): “It’s S&M Day at the Field Museum!” – Pity poor Donald Pleasance, who has the bad luck to appear twice on MST3K (though at least he does better than Peter Graves and Lee Van Cleef). Whiny college professor is granted the all the powers of a pyuma, er puma through an ancient Aztec belt apparently borrowed from the WWE. Fortunately his Aztec sidekick is vastly more competent than he is, and gets most of the work done.
jeriendhal: (Sporfle)
In no particular order, these are my favorite episodes of Mystery Science Theater. It shouldn't be much surprise that they lean towards the sci-fi end of the scale. As a preference, I like episodes with enough action to actually be slightly engaging, though of course still worthy of Joel/Mike and the bot's derision.


1. The Lost Continent (208) "Rock Climbing, Joel" - OK, my first pick isn't quite so hot on the action part. The "Rock Climbing" sequence is infamous for the terrible amount of padding involved. But it was the first episode I ever saw, on the TV set in my sister's house during a visit to North Carolina. I think I came in just as Mike Nelson, playing Hugh Beaumont, Horseman of the Apocalypse, was apologizing to Joel and the bots for wanting to destroy the Earth. From that point I basically kept laughing and didn't stop for an hour and a half.

2. The Cave Dwellers (301) "Use the handrails. I invented them for a reason." - Cheap Conan knockoff featuring Miles O'Keefe sailing through the air on a hanglider wearing a fur diaper. Villains with Fu Manchu mustaches wearing cardboard armor. The female lead doing nothing except looking comely while wearing a hubcap. Credit sequence completely unrelated to actual movie. Just ridiculous from start to finish.

3. It Conquered the World (311) "It learned too late that Mankind was a feeling creature..." Classic Roger Corman with what's actually a reasonably scary premise, a decent script, competent acting by veterans Peter Graves, Lee Van Cleef and Corman regular Beverly Garland. All spoiled by a ludicrous monster shaped like a turnip...

4. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (321) "No one wll ever know that Santa Claus has been kidnapped by Martians!" "Do you realize what you just said?" - The first of two Mst3K's Christmas episodes. An utterly awful children's movie with cheap sets, terrible f/x, worse acting, and a "Wacky!" comic relief character you want to just punch in the face. Only Joel and the bots make it survivable.

5. Hercules Unchained (408): "I LOVE being a guy! Yeah!" Steve Reeves in a toga as myth's mightiest, but certainly not brightest, hero. Joel and Bot's first sword and sandal movie, but by no means their last.
jeriendhal: (Sporfle)
Yes Puma Man spawned a crossover. In which one of the Avenger's allies finds herself accepting her previously unknown heritage, and some of the greatest superheroes in the world are rescued by one of the worst.

Courtesy of [livejournal.com profile] copperbadge
jeriendhal: (Default)
Yes, it's a real title. Sadly, I own it on videotape (not that I've owned a functioning VHS player for years). The MST3K version I watched on Netflix doesn't quite bring the true horror of the film across, which is of 70 minute film consisting of about 50 minutes of re-cap from the previous two Aztec Mummy films. An impressive achievement even for the notably craptacular 50's era Mexican cinema.
jeriendhal: (Default)
Tom and I are both awake, waiting for Mommy and Georgia to stir beore opening presents. Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas.

"There are many things from which I might have derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare say... Christmas among the rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!"
-A Christmas Carol


jeriendhal: (Default)
I don't know why, but this always cracks me up.



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