Royce's Random Thoughts

I want someone to write an Cineverse fic where the Avengers host a Make a Wish kid (inspired mostly from BatKid). Specifically, she wants to meet Iron Man. Cue Tony complaining loudly and long that he Does Not Do Kids and he's not about to allow a cancer ridden moppet into his lab and Steve is better at public relations anyway. Pepper of course shoots back that he did well enough with Harley during the Extremis incident, and Steve succeeds in guilting Tony enough to grudgingly allow the girl to come to the tower.

And Tony being Tony, if he's going to show off His Stuff to said moppet, he's going to do it his way. So naturally there's an eight-year old sized set of Iron Girl armor waiting for her, pink highlights optional (it's got the latest in adaptive camouflage, so she can set it to whatever pattern she wants, including limited invisibility.) Cue Pepper telling Tony "NO!" and Tony reassuring her that the armor has a standard model sensorium so the little girl can have a complete adventure in the suit without actually leaving the lab.

Whereupon the iteration of JARVIS installed in the Iron Girl decides that's not good enough for his little girl (especially after she overhears this conversation) and overrides the safety protocols to let her fly off for real.

In an invisible suit.

With working repulsors...

Hilarity ensues.

Yes Puma Man spawned a crossover. In which one of the Avenger's allies finds herself accepting her previously unknown heritage, and some of the greatest superheroes in the world are rescued by one of the worst.

Courtesy of copperbadge

But won't.

Natasha: JARVIS what are you playing?

JARVIS: It's the theme from The Thunderbirds, Miss Romanov.

Natasha: Do you have to do it every single time you open the Quinjet launch bay doors?

JARVIS: I apologize, but Mr. Stark hard coded the routine into the building's operating system.

Natasha: I'm going to kill him.

But this one would actually work.

Plot Bunny: Tony Stark, along with Pepper and Steve, are hosting a concert at the Disney auditorium for the reconstruction of NYC. Headlining the concert is Miley Stewart, AKA Hannah Montana. Unfortunately a bunch of hijacked SHIELD life model decoys infiltrate and take all the attendees hostage while they try to find Tony for a big fat ransom (cue Hannah being a little annoyed that they're after him and not her.)

This wouldn't be that big of a problem except Steve left his shield at Tony's place because he was attending in his civvies, and Tony's Mk. VIII suitcase armor is in the back of his limo. (Ordering it to launch into the concert hall isn't possible since everyone's electronic communications were shorted out by an EMP pulse just before the LMD's revealed themselves.)

Which means Hannah and her brother Stewart have to crawl through the concert hall's ventilation system to get outside and retrieve Tony's suit, provisioned with a body temperature sample of his DNA in case Happy has been incapacitated and they need to override his limo's security system. Which leads to the following conversation:

Miley: Jackson, quit yer whining. Didn't you always want to be a hero?
Jackson: That was before I was crawling around an air vent cuddlin' a cup full of Tony Stark's spit!

Later

Jackson: Why do you get to wear the armor?
Miley: Because we can't drag it all that way back through the vents, we're gonna have about a million terrorist robots shooting at us, and if there's one thing I know, it's how to run around wearing a stupid looking costume!

No, the other Bruce.

And I blame beccaelizabeth for this entirely.

( Emotional armor vs. power armor )

Idea: The Ciniverse Avengers end up bumping into Richard Bucket from Keeping Up Appearances who inadvertently invites them over to dinner after they save his life (and before he can think better of the idea.)

Hyacinth of course is absolutely thrilled to have such a famous group of heroes visiting, even if they are all Americans.* It'll be the party of the year!

Hilarity Ensues.

Reactions:

Steve: Would be very, very reluctant to call out Hyacinth on her behavior. He recognizes her bullying (even passive aggressive bullying) right away. On the other hand, arguing with a Lady of the House on her home turf would be difficult for him.

Tony: Would have no compunctions about telling Hyacinth off to her face. Whether it would penetrate her thick skull is another question. Ends up hitting the liquor cabinet early on.

Thor: Would do his best to extricate Richard from the proceedings and head to the nearest pub to get him smashed.

Bruce: Would not be there. Five minutes of exposure to the Hyacinth Stupidity Field would have him making excuses to leave. Now. Before it was Too Late.

Clint: Would disappear into the backyard to do some target practice. Would apologize for knocking over the tree with an explosive arrowhead later.

Natasha: Would say nothing. Nothing at all. The utter disaster that would fall upon Hyacinth's head after they all left could not possibly be traced to her.

* Explanations to the contrary falling up deaf ears...

Continuing from yesterday.

Tags: Avengers, Tony, Steve, Clint, Pepper, Natasha, Happy

* * *

The door to the common room slid open and Pepper walked, followed by Happy, who was loaded down with bags of carry-out, and Clint and Natasha, who were loaded down with each other.

"We have hunted and killed dinner," Pepper announced.

"You've killed my back," Happy noted, setting the bags on the counter of the small kitchenette in one corner of the room. "I thought you were hiring a chef."

"I have, three times. Once I tell them where they'll actually be working, they immediately hand over their resignation," Pepper admitted. "Why are you destroying the floor?"

"I'm not destroying, I'm improving." Tony hopped up from the hatch, heading over to the bags filled with styrofoam trays, trading a kiss with Pepper along the way. "So what did you get this time? Chinese?"

"No."

"Japanese?"

"No."

"Indian?"

"No."

He popped open one of the trays and took an experimental sniff. "Norwegian?"

"Swedish actually," Clint said.

Steve blinked in surprise. "You found a Swedish takeout place?"

Natasha shrugged. "We were getting desperate. And it's New York. There are five of everything here if you look hard enough."

Tony closed the tray and made a beeline for Steve's rucksack. "I'll get a burger. Meanwhile, I want to see what Old School here thinks is better than what you can download from Amazon." He flipped it open and started drawing out books. "Calvin and Hobbes, very good taste there. Oh, How to Draw Manga. Getting a thing for Japanese schoolgirls, are we?"

Steve gently removed it from Tony's hands. "The style seems really clean and quick to draw. I was thinking about maybe doing a webcomic, assuming we ever get any spare time."

Tony nodded, "Nice idea. Tell JARVIS, he can build the website for you. I'll call up my lawyer tomorrow and secure the media rights for whatever you come up with."

"I don't even know what I'm going to draw yet," he protested.

Tony snorted and began rummaging through the rucksack again. "You're Steve Rogers. Whatever it is people will eat it up." He drew out another book. "The Hobbit? I didn't figure you for a fantasy freak."

"I had a lot of time when I was getting over chicken pox," Steve admitted. "It was a fun book. Once I finish it I'll have to see what else Professor Tolkien wrote."

There was a very long pause, as five heads turned in unison to stare at him. "You don't know what else he wrote?" Happy asked.

"Low tor came out in '52 I think," Clint said. "Steve was frozen for seven years by then."

"Low Tor?" Steve asked.

"Sorry, Lord of the Rings. It's the sequel trilogy."

"He wrote a trilogy after that?"

Tony looked, for Tony, aghast. "You didn't know that yet." Then he grinned. "JARVIS, it's movie night! Load up all three of the extended editions on the main screen!"

Yes, sir, JARVIS replied. Would you like that with the director's commentary and the Portuguese subtitles again?

IN which I indulge in fanfic for the first time (this month)

Tags: Avengers, Ciniverse, gen, Steve, Tony, Natasha, Clint.

* * *

Between being woken up and recovering from his long frozen sleep, assimilating to life in the 21st Century, defeating the Chitauri invasion and moving into the repaired Avengers nee Stark Tower, it had taken Steve Rogers almost a year to get his new library card.

He'd never considered himself much of a reader when he was growing up. His obsession with overcoming (okay, ignoring) his physical problems had obsessed him. But he'd gotten into the habit of reading the hospital, and also during the long moments of boredom in the field during the war, where a squad of men would read obsessively through the same months old copy of Stars and Stripes just to have something to do while they waited for the call to action.

The great New York Public Library in Midtown had thankfully avoided taking a hit during the Chitauri assault, and Steve had given the old stone lions, Patience and Fortitude, guarding the entrance a friendly pat as he went in. The familiar smell of old books, paper, glue and a bit of dust, hit him as soon as he went inside. The interior hadn't changed all that much from his memories, aside from the computer terminals and florescent lights that were a constant in this day and age.

He had to go through the usual rigamarole of getting his card of course. Yes, that was his real age on his driver's license, here's his special ID countersigned by both the President and the Secretary of Defense, yes he's that Steve Rogers (pause for ten minutes of autographs, pictures, and some Grip & Grin) and he'd finally emerged from the library with his new card and a hefty pile of books in his rucksack.

When he got back to Avengers Tower, he found Tony kneeling on the floor of the common room, the center carpet cut away roughly with an eXacto knife to allow him access to the maintenance hatch.

"What are you doing?" Steve asked, setting his rucksack down on a table with a thump.

"Hi, Frozone." Tony gave him a wave without actually looking up form his work. "I figured out a way to improve the efficiency of the in-house fiber optic network by accelerating the transmissions through the arc reactor. I'm gonna give a test run through the common room's entertainment system tonight."

"Didn't you just finish installing the network last week? And didn't you say it was the most efficient on the planet?"

"Well that was last week."

TBC

Plot Bunny: It's the Avenger's first night together at the newly renovated Avenger's Tower, and rather than have everyone stand around awkwardly staring at each other, Tony breaks out his old D&D boxed set and starts up a game.

Well, Tony being Tony it wouldn't be in boxes, it would be set up in an interactive holographic DM screen that probably costs more than a mint copy of 1st Edition Chainmail signed by both Gary Gygaax and Dave Arneson, and it wouldn't be D&D anymore but a ridiculously complex homebrew system that he has to spend two hours teaching everyone else.

"Okay, everyone choose your classes. Clint?"

"Ranger."

"Natch. Natasha?"

"Drow Thief/Acrobat/Assassin"

"Thor?"

"Paladin."

"Steve already gets dibs on that one."

"I do?"

(Everyone else) "Yes."

"As you will. Fighter then."

"Cool. Rhodey?"

"Magic-user"

"You're kidding, right?"

"One Word: Fireball."

"Gotcha. Bruce?"

"Cleric."

"Not a half-orc barbarian?"

"No."