Royce's Random Thoughts

Batman entered the hospital's waiting room, Clark one step behind him, taking stock. Miss Stewart's father was pacing back and forth. Height 6' 2", musculature indicates lack of regular exercise, dark brown hair with strong indications of heavy use of hair care products that will likely result in premature hair loss before age fifty, he noted to himself.

"Are they gonna be alright?" Robbie demanded, turning towards them.

"Don't worry, Mr. Stewart," Batman said. "The doctors managed to get the antidote to the Joker's laughing gas to your son and your daughter's bodyguard in time. They should make a full recovery."

"What about Miley?"

"The Joker didn't just kidnap her at random. He's got something planned. Given your daughter's background that's likely going to involve taking over Gotham's airwaves for a concert, which narrows down the search pattern considerably."

"Damn. Ya gotta her back from that white-faced freak. If he hurts her..."

Superman laid a hand on Robbie's shoulder. "We'll get her back. I promise Mr. Stewart."

"I just don't understand how he could'a found her. We made up that disguise for her so Miley could have a normal life. Nobody saw through it before."

Batman glanced once at Clark, who went stonefaced as he said, "You might want to reconsider it. Changing one's hairstyle slightly isn't much of a secret identity."

So apparently Disney is pretty much giving up on original ideas altogether and just following the lead of its much more successful subsidiary Pixar. I wonder like Steve Jackson Games' Car Wars we might see further expansions in the franchise focusing on boats and tanks (with a cancelled video about the re-building of the Transcontinental Railroad).

Also, Disney using Rob Zombie in a trailer? WTF?

So, I finally finished watching The Great Mouse Detective

Summary: A fun little movie that came out in the dark period between The Black Cauldron and The Little Mermaid that proved Disney was still capable of putting a decently plotted story together.

Random Observations:

Olivia: Cutest mouse in distress ever.

Basil: Worlds smartest jerkass, which fits his role as a Sherlock Holmes expy.

Dawson: Was kinda just there, though he did serve as a humanity (mouseinity?) barometer to offset Basil's ego.

Ratigan: "Mr. Price, just imagine the entire set is made of gingerbread and it's your time to chew!"

That Mouse Singer in the Bar Scene: How did they get her in (with those LYRICS) and keep a G rating?

The Mouse Queen: So if she's the leader of Mouse England, and Dawson served in Afghanistan, does that mean there will be Mouse Gurkas fighting Mouse Taliban there a hundred years from the story's time?

Didja hear about Marvel being bought by Disney?

Coolest crossover pic ever.

Even though the traditional Robin Hood narrative did come to a close in the original film, Disney could mine a sequel if they wanted to. Because in their version Sir Guy was definitely absent, and he could make a perfect villian in a sequel, especially if he was markedly more competent than the Sheriff was. Just have him break out Prince John and Sir Hiss from the rock quarry after King Richard splits back to France...

Over the past few days Georgia has taken to pulling her t-shirt over her head when we get home while she's watching Disney's Robin Hood, leaving the collar stuck around the top of her head like a headband and the rest hanging down the back.

Today I finally realized what she was doing. She's pretending to be Maid Marian. :)

[Poll #1352449]

We go with the usual "storybook" opening from the early Disney films, followed by a horribly chopped up title sequence (at least in the DVD version)

Alan-a-Dale: Look, I realize that this flick isn't exactly high art, and that Disney's reputation for preserving the integrity of their earlier films is execrable (I'm looking at you, Three Caballeros) but would would it have killed you guys to add the voice credits at the end of the film?

Just get on with the story.

Alan-a-Dale: Right. Robin Hood steals from Prince John, wins the golden arrow contest, makes a great escape, steals from John a second time and then marries Marion in the end.

That's a bit short even for a Five-Minute review. Care to expand on that?

Alan-a-Dale: Trust me, that's all there is to it.

Marion: I think we should look at the moral dimensions of the film. For starters, the Nice Girl is sweet but kind of a drip.

Friar Tuck: Stealing is good, if you're clever and handsome. Or the comic relief.

Sir Hiss: Painfully obvious disguises always work against the bad guys, especially if no one listens to the one antagonist who's actually paying attention to anything (I could cry, really).

Prince John: It's possible to drag my name even deeper through the mud than it is in the historical record. I mean, I just ran the place for years, while Richard's time is Britain could be measured in weeks, but noooo, everyone thinks Prince John was an idiot who sucks his thumb and whines for Mummy. Curse you, Sir Walter Raleigh!

The Sheriff: Dumb redneck stereotypes were common in Medieval England.

Little John: Robin makes one hot looking Gypsy girl.

Everyone stares at him.

Little John(defensively: Well he does!

King Richard: Thanks to this film, we can difinitively say that modern Furry fandom started in 1973.

Robin: And finally, recycling is important!

Lady Kluck: I'm sorry, where's that one coming from?

Robin: Well just look at the film for heaven's sake. Little John's character design and even the voice actor are the same as from The Jungle Book, the crocodile sergeant is from Fantasia and so are the elephant trumpeters I think. Plus the animals playing the instruments during the dance sequence were traced from The Aristocats, Marian and I dance move for move the same as the Prince and Snow White from the end of Snow White, Little John's dance moves are again from The Jungle Book and even the football chase takes the fight songs from two different universities and mixes them together.

Marian: Robin?

Robin: Yes, dear?

Marian: Shut up.

She kisses him.


Summary: Overall a fun movie that's as heavy as a soap bubble and completely lacking in modern irony and "adult" jokes like most kid movies these days. Definitely shows what era it's from though. There's also an essay to be written about Robin in the film being a more classic fairy tale Trickster figure rather than the Robin Hood from Medieval legend, but I'm not up to writing that one.